Well, I’m not sure if I ever said anything about this in the last YEAR that I blogged but

I’M GETTING MARRIED!

We’re approximately 8 weeks from saying “I do”, and let me just say…WE ARE HANGING IN THERE! We are eagerly anticipating everything coming together, but for now, we know we are called to patiently wait, and to embrace these last several weeks before we become one flesh.

I wanted to share my thoughts on this journey long before now…I wanted to start blogging or vlogging my thoughts 100 days until the wedding. But I had a complete breakdown. And from there, it’s been learning to surrender (again), and to allow God to have His way during this process, and not my way.

Seeing how me and my fiance Cadarius’ testimony is, you’d think I’d know that. But God reveals to us the lessons we’ve previously learned in new circumstances to remind us of what He’s brought us through, and what He will continue to bring us through.

So, I thought I’d share some of our testimony that brought us to this planning of our expected wedding. I kind of owe y’all since it has been a while since I’ve blogged consistently…

our testimony.

For those who don’t know me and Cadarius’ testimony of how we got here, just know that it took a lot of prayer, submission to God, going against what most people around us thought was wise, and trusting that God’s will would be done. And, I am humbled and honored to say that His will was for us to get married, but to do it the right way.

Because we didn’t do it the right way before.

We’d lived together previously, much to the disdain of my parents (all 4 of them), and we’d thrown all caution to the wind, living the way we wanted to live. We both claimed to know Jesus, but weren’t living like Him, or living to please Him. Then came an unexpected mental episode that took Cadarius’ mind, and lasted a whole month, forcing us to move out of our apartment that we were living in, and separating us from each other so we could figure things out.

I won’t tell Cadarius’ side of the story, because that’s his to tell, and I won’t write out the whole side of my story because some of the details are just between me and God, but I do want to make it clear that God brought us both to the end of ourselves so that we could look nowhere but to Him. And this didn’t happen for us at the same time; my repentance happened almost immediately when things began to spiral, but it was tested when things calmed down, and Cadarius and I desired to be together again. It required so much prayer, patience, and surrendering my desires to God. Writing it sounds so easy, but it wasn’t; and when I think about this part of our testimony, I tear up every time.

Because God really could’ve kept us separated, and never brought us together again. He could’ve brought other people into our lives for us to date and to marry. Or, He could’ve called us both to singleness for the rest of our lives. But He is so gracious. You know what He loves? He loves redemption. Which is why He sent His Son Jesus to redeem the world. And quite honestly, that thought didn’t hit me until I typed it just now; that God, in His Mercy, chose to not only redeem me and Cadarius’ faith in Him, but also to redeem our relationship with each other.

I hope you know…I’m crying BIG GIRL TEARS OVER HERE!

Whew, before I get too emotional to finish this post, I want y’all to know that our journey since has not been easy. We are definitely more joyful, peaceful, hopeful people, but that doesn’t mean we don’t endure trials or hardships. We are so grateful to the people who are surrounding us: our church family, our families, our friends. We know that we are where we are because of all of them interceding for us in prayer, especially during this time.

We’re doing things the way we should’ve been doing them: we’ve been living apart, abstaining from temptations that we previously had, attending church and Bible studies, doing devotions and praying separately and with each other. We are continuing to seek God’s Face as we move closer to our wedding day.

Please continue to pray for us as we get closer to this beautiful day! While I want to share some of my detailed thoughts on wedding planning, I know some days I just don’t have the energy or time to. Being disciplined is so difficult sometimes! I work full-time, stream part-time, go to the gym, then desire to blog every day like I used to?! And still want to have some free time to read all the books I want to read?? Meanwhile, Cadarius works full time (sometimes OVER time) goes to the gym, stretches and wants to read, but has to be in bed by like 9pm because he has to be up at 3am?! And on top of all that: WE ARE PLANNING A WEDDING!!

Yeah, we need all the prayers please! 😂

Mishy 🦋🩵