quarter of the way – bsgp.

So, many of you who follow me know that I’ve been working on The Brown Skin Girl Project since May began, leaving me really no time to blog until today, honestly. I had my very last interview for the project today, so all that’s left is to edit the videos, create the rest of the content and post!

I decided today to write a little bit about how the process has been up until now, and then check in again once the halfway mark, 3/4 mark, and the end is here…

first quarter.

Ahh the beginning…it seems so long ago!

Honestly, I was hella nervous during these first several interviews, mostly because I hadn’t done this in such a long time. I had already planned on switching shirts for every interview, even if they were scheduled on the same day, but with the way I was sweating through each one, it was necessary to change 😅

The last time I tried doing an interview project was four years ago when I still lived on Tybee, and I had created a Tybee Island Profiles page to go around and interview different locals from the island about who they were and what they did. That is honestly how my writing project #JustStartWriting began (another story for another time. Another project for another time too).

And it’s crazy because I didn’t really make the connection between this project and the Tybee Island project from years ago until recently. In some way, I guess those journalism classes I took in high school/college still stick with me!

I got excited when it came time to edit the videos because I hadn’t edited long videos in a while since my last #MotivationalMishyMonday season (also another project I need to work on. Be patient with me lol). And when I started the actual editing process…

Y’all, I won’t lie…I was slightly shocked at the amount of work that this project required. I knew I was going to have to put effort in, but I mean, I started staying up until 2am editing videos and making sure the content to post was accurate. I felt like I was back in college: slightly procrastinating, but getting the job done.

The releasing of a project is always exciting; the first post received so much feedback and support, I was honestly thrilled! Since then, things seemed to have slightly died down. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate anyone who’s been actively liking, sharing, commenting on everything that’s been posted so far! This isn’t about me and my platform, I just hope each of these ladies is getting not only exposure, but also support in what they’re doing and working towards!

I’m grateful for a couple of things:

  1. I’m grateful that, before all this quarantine-ing started, I went to SimplyMac at Hamilton Place Mall, and dropped the money I’d been saving on a MacBook Air. Because if I didn’t have this laptop, I probably wouldn’t have the opportunity to do this project. My old laptop was so outdated and slow, there would be no chance really of getting this project done as smoothly as it’s been going (even if I do stay up until 2am!)
  2. I’m really grateful for technology to be this advanced to do things such as this project. Zoom has been the best tool for this! I’ve been able to get to know these women better than just following them on Instagram, and seeing little snippets of their lives. I actually got to hear from their own mouths what drives them, what they long to do now and into the future, and random facts about them as well!
  3. I’m grateful for a project to work on at all during this time. Even though I will be returning to work soon, it’s nice to be able to do something this big and creative before I need to be back in a consistent schedule. It’s nice to feel what it will be like when I leave the 9-5 behind and create for a living!

As I write this, I’m almost halfway done with with the Brown Skin Girl Project, but I’ll save my halfway point thoughts for the next post I make about this!

What’s an idea you’ve been working on that’s turned into a project, a podcast, a website, etc.? How did it feel to work on something creatively and consistently? What are some things you’re thankful for that have allowed you to do your project?

Mishy 🦋🤎

P.S. Please make sure you head to my Instagram (@mishywrites) and check out the Brown Skin Girl Project! All interviews are on my IGTV channel, and pictures and favorite quotes of the women featured are on my actual page!

tired but grateful.

You may have already heard their names…Sean Reed and Ahmaud Arbery. More names to add to the murdered black males list. And while anything I write may not be different than anything else you’ve read or seen today, I feel the need to write about it on my blog because honestly, I’m so tired of being angry at things like this, sad at things like this, tired of all of this.

I’m tired of incidents like this having to be spammed all over social media before the news or the authorities talk about it, and before murderers are arrested. I’m tired of having more names become hashtags to get people’s attention. I’m tired of parents, siblings, significant others, children, and friends having to put the face and name of someone they love on a t-shirt, in a casket, and on a gravestone.

I’m tired of having fearful thoughts in my head sometimes when my boyfriend walks or drives to the corner store or gas station near my apartment, because I never know what could happen between here and there. I’m tired of being fearful for any of my fellow black friends, male or female, when they’re leaving from a party or event by themselves (and that’s even after walking with them to their car, and telling them to text me when they’ve made it home safe).

And I know I’m not the only one who’s tired of these things.

It’s during times like these that I’m grateful that my hope is not in this world, or in the people who are in this world. It doesn’t mean we shouldn’t speak up, or try to hold people accountable for their actions, but I trust that God will deal with it accordingly, either now or when Christ returns. And the latter may not satisfy some who want to see justice now, but the unfortunate reality is that sometimes we may not see it all the way through in our lifetime.

I would love to see the slaughter of black people actually taken seriously before my lifetime is over. Shoot, I’d love for the slaughter of black people to NOT HAPPEN before my lifetime is over! I pray this to be so, and trust that God’s timing is better than mine. And I continue to put my hope in Him, and not the systems or those running them, since clearly, they have failed time and time again.

I pray that we all keep fighting for justice though; that our righteous anger wouldn’t burn out, that we would never hesitate to speak up or act in whatever way we can when murder occurs. That we keep fighting for actual equality to happen every single day. And that we love on the ones we have in our lives right now, near or far.

Mishy 🦋🤎

put to practice.

And just like that, y’all…I write a blog post about how things change, and today, things went and changed up on me! 😂 God must’ve been like, Okay, so you writing all this stuff…let’s see how well you put it into practice when it happens!

Some of the meetings I’d set up for the Brown Skin Girls project had to be switched around, leaving me another free day to do what I needed to do! In my mind, that just tells me that God thought I needed an extra day to prepare myself, and I’m grateful for that. Because I was excited, but also low-key nervous to start this project up, and having another day allowed me to truly be ready!

How do you handle change? Sometimes it’s easier to brush it off when it doesn’t inconvenience us, but when it throws a whole wrench in matters you’d already planned, it can be many things: annoying or frustrating. It can cause us to place a whole raincloud over a day that can still be just as good even if things didn’t go as planned.

I could go into how we’re all doing this thing that none of us ever planned, but I’m sure you all understand by now. I’m sure many of us have gone through different phases during this time, and are still going through those phases as it drags on longer and longer. I pray that you see each day not as an inconvenience, but as opportunity. That we allow ourselves to see the silver lining when a cloud comes through.

Did anyone write down their end-of-the-month check-up based off my blog post yesterday? If you missed out, you can find it here. It’ll help you think about all the changes that have occurred, the ways in which you’ve changed, and what should leave or stay in regards to May being tomorrow!

Not too much to write about today, BUT I’ve decided to tell the story about my succulent plant here on the blog tomorrow, so stay tuned!

Mishy 🦋🤍

re-commit.

Hey luvvies!

I’ve just been keeping myself busy these days still: working out, keeping my plants alive, signing up and attending little seminars and classes on Zoom. Just doing what I can with the time I have since it sounds like some things may be opening back up here soon.

With that being said: how are you feeling? I’ve honestly heard of a few states opening businesses back up, with city governors advising the cities they are head of to stay put. It’s like it gives us some hope, but also, leaves us questioning if it’s truly hope, or just an illusion. I guess we’ll do what we’ve been doing for the past couple of months: wait and see what happens.

As for me personally, I’m little frazzled on what to write about right now 😅 I’ve been reading, researching, and taking online classes on how to upgrade my brand, my blogging, my writing. I feel like every day brings something different, and I don’t want to overwhelm myself, but at the same time, I don’t want to waste my time either. I feel like I’ve been working so hard, but not getting anywhere sometimes, but I always have to assure myself that working at something will get me somewhere! Progress will be made regardless!

If I were to encourage you, I’d say this: keep going. Keep focusing on what you’re doing, not on what someone else is doing. It can be easy for us to lose sight of our own tasks when we are looking at what other people are doing, and we might be tempted to keep looking at what other people are doing because we have the time to keep scrolling through their lives on social media.

Just because we have the time to do something, doesn’t mean we should be doing it. Use your time wisely!

I’ve been inspired by so many wonderful friends to keep going, to keep doing the thing I love to do most – write. And they’ve been encouraging me by doing the things they love to do most; we don’t even have to have a conversation, they’re just doing it! And I love to see it!

Honestly, while I’ve been writing here on my blog, I haven’t really done much writing outside of here. I’ve written a poem here or there, and even a couple of journal entries, but not every day. So, starting tonight, I will continue to commit to blog here every day (minus Sunday), and I re-commit to writing outside of here (whether it be journaling, poetry writing, etc.) as well! Because that’s the type of writing I love most!

What is something you need to re-commit to? It can be something you began when this quarantined started, but then slowly faded away from doing it. It can be something you used to do pre-quarantine, and haven’t done since we began social distancing. Or, what’s something new you can commit to doing today?

Mishy 🦋🤍

the pink moon. 🌕

Did anyone get a chance to see the Pink Moon last night?

Truthfully, I was a little sad to find out a couple of hours before the peak time that it wasn’t actually pink, but I love a good full moon anyway! But of course, after sitting outside and locating where it was, the clouds were covering it off and on. I find that every time some sort of cool, space thing is happening, the clouds seem to want to cover it up most of the time.

Thankfully, though, the clouds were moving, so every few minutes or so, the Pink Moon in all its fullness would come popping out from behind the thick clouds. And it was beautiful. And even if it was covered by thin or thicker clouds, you could still see how bright it was by the rays poking out from behind them.

Some of the thin layers of clouds were shaped like ocean waves as they passed over the moon. And as I looked at how bright the moon was, it made me think of what it would think if it knew what was happening on earth right now. And maybe it shining so brightly was its way of reminding us that, even in the heaviness this pandemic is bringing to our world, there can still be light to see. There can still be light to break through.

Although the moon doesn’t really know what’s happening, God does. And maybe He allowed the moon to be as beautiful as it was last night to remind us that He is still here, and He still sees and hears us, even if it seems things are going in cycles, and there aren’t very many positive details about what’s happening. I know as I watched the moon, I felt very grateful to still be able to see it. I am grateful even now for what the moon represents in regards to change: P.I.N.K ➡️ Phases. Innovation. New. Knowledge.

Phases

The moon changes every night as it prepares to go into all of its different phases, and we all go through change just like it. Right now, we’re all changing in a lot of the same ways as we practice social distancing, but we also are still changing in our own different ways as we use this time we have. But each phase can still be beautiful; and each phase serves a purpose as it helps us get to the next phase. Think: what phase are you currently in? What are you doing now to prepare for the next phase?

Innovation

Some of us are doing some major innovation, or transformation. Maybe our “normal” lives before all of this had some toxic characteristics and habits, and now that we can slow down, we can uproot those things from our lives, and establish better routines. Maybe we ourselves are changing: physically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally. How can you see innovation in your life right now?

New

Obviously, we are in a completely new phase of life that many of us have not encountered ever before. I don’t know about anyone else, but I’ve never been out of work for this long, and still been getting paid for it. Even though we may be in the same locations, how we’re interacting (or not interacting) with our environment is still very new to us. I already had to think about washing my hands when I was at work (since I work at preschool), but now I’m thinking about washing my hands outside of work – while I’m at home, if I go to the grocery store, if I step right outside of my apartment complex just to get some fresh air.

We’re all thinking of and creating new ways to live with how things are. And while it’s easy to see the negative side of these things, we can still create some positive experiences. What are some new things you’ve done or are doing these days?

Knowledge

Each day, we have the opportunity to learn. We may not be in classrooms or jobs, but we still have technology at our fingertips. We still have the things and people in our homes to go to for information, to teach/guide us in new things. Something we may have wanted to know about can now be learned because we’re all inside. Not to mention, we’re learning more about ourselves and how we presently function, and can better function as people now, and whenever we can all go back outside. What are some things you’re learning these days? Who is teaching you? What resources are you taking advantage of now?

All of these things were thoughts I had as I sat and watched the clouds hide then reveal the moon. What are some thoughts you had last night as you watched it? If you weren’t able to see it, did you still wait to see if you could?

Mishy 🦋🤍

for poetry.

Another day, speedily come and gone. I even woke up earlier than usual, guys! And I’m down to a little less than an hour to write. Again. 🥴

At least my days are filled to the point where I’m not extremely bored! I realized today (or maybe it was late yesterday) that this month is NATIONAL POETRY MONTH! 🙌🏽✨ And if that’s the case…then I want to write a poem every day, all month! I’m already behind 2 days, so it looks like it’ll be 3 poems for me tomorrow!

And thankfully, after a good conversation with Pa today, I will be able to branch out my writing thought process by joining a Zoom writing workshop that he’s been going to that happens twice a day (with the same prompt). I missed today, but I hope to make it to tomorrow morning’s at 11am!

I wonder…are there anymore online writing workshops going on during this time? Maybe some workshops on IG live? I did hop onto Rupi Kaur’s (author of poetry books milk and honey and the sun and her flowers) Instagram live once during this quarantine time, and she was doing a poetry writing workshop 🤩 If anyone knows of anymore, please, holla at ya girl! 😁🤙🏽

Well, hopefully I’ll have better content tomorrow here for y’all. I know for some people these days are dragging on, but for me, they’re speeding by quickly!

How can you find a way to be more engaged with your craft/hobby? Who can you connect with to help you advance in it further?

Mishy 🦋🤍

last minute log.

Well, I’ve reached about the last 45 minutes of the day to try to write something here 😅 Honestly, if there’s anything I need to work on during this time, it’s waking up earlier. By the time I wake up these days, some good daylight hours have already been spent…and I’m drinking my coffee at like 1pm 😭 and that’s no good!

My sleep schedule has just been so off ever since I’ve gone from strict routine to none. I’ve tried several times to gain a good routine, but I feel like each day brings something new, and I’m forced to move things around more.

Honestly, today’s theme was Naruto Shippuden 😄 I’ve been watching episodes with my boyfriend whenever we eat together, and he downloaded the latest Storm 4 game on the XBOX, and he’s been teaching me how to play it.

If I’m honest, I’m a pretty bad sore loser when it comes to fighting games. I always feel like people expect me to do poorly at them, and when I do, I feel like I’ve proved them right, and I wanna be able to win at least a couple of rounds LOL 😂 So, I’ve practiced against the computer several times, and I guess we’ll just have to see if I can best my boyfriend in the upcoming days 😅

But the show is just SO GOOD. I’m glad we started watching it again; it’s just got so much character development and different characters introduced with different missions. I’m hoping we can get deep into it, maybe even finish it with the time we’ve got these days.

Other than Naruto-themed things, I was able to video chat with a couple of people – a student of mine I haven’t seen in 3 weeks, and a newly found friend who I’ll be collaborating with soon! 🙌🏽 Some awesome things are coming out of this time, even if there are moments of stir-craziness.

What is something you’re getting into more as time passes on? Is it a show, a game, a new hobby? Who have you been able to contact now that you’ve got the time?

Mishy 🦋🤍

to be honest: how I sometimes feel.

Today, I went live with my friend Jeigh for her organization Suspire, and we discussed how I’ve been personally feeling with everything going on.

Honestly, I’m probably in one of the most privileged positions of anyone enduring this pandemic: I’m off of work, but I’m still getting paid. Which means, I have so much time to create! So, there’s really not much room for me to complain, and I’m grateful to be in the position I’m in!

I was telling Jeigh during the live that while I’m not necessarily enduring panic from all this, and I’m more in disbelief that these things are happening, even though I’m living through it day by day. Again, I’m grateful to not be experiencing more negative emotions due to this pandemic.

However, when I think about it, I still have to fight for my mental health. I may not be anxious in regards to the pandemic, but I’m seeing that being stuck in one place for so long leaves a lot of time to just think about other things…and sometimes those things can be negative. I have noticed that sometimes it’s easier for me to see the hope and light in other people’s situations, and not see it in my own. I’m able to write to inspirational content for others, but when I go back and read it, sometimes I feel like those words just aren’t for me.

I’ve had to battle mental demons that desire for me to self-sabotage, threatening my stable situations into chaos and confusion. Yes, there is more time to create…but there’s also more time to compare myself. There’s more time to allow those thoughts to settle in, and cause me to question myself – what I look like, the things I do, etc.

In a way, I feel like I somehow fudged my answers in the Instagram live earlier, but truly, these times of feeling down are brief and temporary. But they are still there, and I don’t want to pretend like they never happened, because they have. I find that I’m fearful of admitting my weak moments of believing these lies; I’m afraid that if I say them out loud, I’d be judged rather than encouraged or helped.

But I also know that, even if it may be initially painful to bring them to light, there is always healing and reassurance on the other side from the Lord, from people who truly love and support me. And I also know that I’m not the only one who goes through these thought processes, so that’s always comforting.

And it’s comforting to know that I can read and look at the art and words of other artists when I feel my words aren’t of much comfort to myself. And honestly, that’s an interesting topic for another blog post. Hmm…

Just some honesty today! But it’s good to get it off my chest. Here are some of the words that have encouraged me lately:

Mishy 🦋💚

late night quarantine thoughts.

Well, friends!

I found out yesterday that I’ll be off of work for another two weeks after this week! So, I’ve got a lot of time to work on some things *rubs palms together*

And even though I have this mindset, I also know that it’s okay to have the mindset of rest. It’s easy to be hard on myself, and think that I’ve wasted a day or some days by not doing anything productive towards the things I want to accomplish. But I shouldn’t be hard on myself, and neither should you; I don’t know about y’all, but I’ve done weeks, months of just goinggoinggoing, and wishing that I had just a day to rest. And now that I’ve been given about a month to rest, suddenly I feel this pressure to get all sorts of things done.

I know this isn’t new information for many of you; some of you may be feeling the same as I am. And most of you have at least heard this perspective due to being on social media all the time these days, with so many accounts posting content relevant to this time, because it’s the most relatable topic right now – that’s where all of our minds are right now.

And as much as I want to stay relevant and relatable to you all, I don’t want the message of hope to not be read in what I present to y’all. There are so many creatives taking this route, and I’m grateful for them because it’s easy to fall into so many negative emotions during this time: fear, worry, hopelessness, denial, skepticism, etc. But if we can shed some light onto the situation, remind people that although things change quickly, it is possible for things to change for the better.

These things we’re viewing, whether they’re videos, online live concerts, healing sessions, prayer sessions, positive pictures or illustrations, I pray are more than just distractions that only hold our attention and our spirit for a moment, but can carry us through until this is all over. Let us be sure in this time not to just take things in quickly and casually, but to let them settle on our hearts; let us ponder them in our minds.

I don’t have much today, guys…today honestly flew by pretty quickly, and I can’t believe it’s already almost tomorrow! Just wanted to make sure I tapped in here with y’all.

Stay healthy, safe, and most importantly, blessed!

Mishy 🦋💚

every day is different.

I’ve been sucking at blogging every day during this 2-week quarantine. My bad, y’all.

But every day brings something different. Do not fear…I’ve been practicing social distancing as much as I can! This little extrovert is doing her best having as little social interaction as she can.

Today, I was blessed with a lot: sitting outside in sunny, 70-degree weather. A sweet Facebook post from my amazing boyfriend. An encouraging and motivating phone call from a friend I hadn’t spoken to in years. I bought a MacBook after saving up for years for it! And my Nike Forces that I thought I’d have to chase the UPS truck for, were safely in the package room waiting for me when I got back to my apartment. I’m super grateful for everyone and everything in my life!

These days off are counting down quickly than I’d anticipated, and in some ways, I feel sort of guilty for not doing the things I need to do. But I’m doing a lot that I normally wouldn’t have time to do either, like get enough rest, write/doodle in my poetry journal, have hour-long phone conversations with friends, catch up on One Tree Hill because I’m re-watching it all again for the second time.

I keep telling myself every night at this time that tomorrow I’ll do better; tomorrow, I’ll be more disciplined with my game planning. But, again, every day is just different. Especially when you’re kind of just waiting to hear how things are going in the outside world. That doesn’t give me an excuse to slack off when I do have projects I want to accomplish. But it means I should just do what I was doing even when I was working 5-days a week: the best that I can, with what I have.

So, if I sleep in and am starting my day a little later? It’s okay. If I worked a little on my game-plan, and then decided I wanted to spend two hours binge-watching One Tree Hill, it’s okay. If I actually decide to sit down and blog? It’s okay!

We are not promised tomorrow, so we should live every day the way we feel it should be lived. And that looks different for everyone…

If you knew today was your last day on earth, how would you spend it? How have your days looked so far during this time of social distancing? In what ways would you change what you’re doing?

I know tomorrow, it’s SPRING CLEANING day for me! Gotta hinder this apartment from ever smelling ripe lol!

Mishy 🦋💚