“imposter” (post + poem)

So, I’m combining “Writing Wednesdays” and my poetry day together because I was working on a presentation that I had to do last night. Yes, some slight procrastination, but hey, it’s done!

I’ve had this feeling since last week though…this feeling of imposter syndrome. I’ve begun some new avenues in my writing and editing, and while I’m grateful for the opportunities, a part of me feels like these tasks are above me and my gifts.

Imposter syndrome (noun): the persistent inability to believe that one’s success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one’s own efforts or skills.

Oxford Languages Dictionary

I thought to myself, “These people are PAYING ME to do these things!” Like, who told me I could do a whole presentation on editing APA dissertations when ya girl literally wrote MLA format most of her scholarly career?! And who told me that I could take other people’s ideas and words, and turn them into a professionally written description for their websites?

For me, the first symptom of imposter syndrome is fear. I start to get scared of the things I’ve committed to, or even of the task itself before I’ve committed to it. Through the years I’ve gotten pretty good at convincing myself to say “yes” to things I was afraid of trying, even if that meant failing. But even after saying yes, doubts still arise…

Am I really qualified to do this?
Do I have enough talent to pull this off?
Am I deceiving people into thinking I’m capable of doing something when I really suck at it?

Am I ripping these people off because I’m pretending to be good at something I’m not?

In the past couple of weeks, I’ve had to talk myself down from the negative thoughts these questions bring, and be grateful for the opportunities that God has provided for me to expand in my craft in different ways. And I had to be okay with the fact that I’d probably make a few mistakes here and there (making the perfectionist part of me CRINGE), but that I’d learn from them and grow from them as I continued in these specific realms.

While I’ve learned to be confident in a lot of things that I do, I’m finding that I’m still growing in being certain of myself in many things. And that’s okay! But I’m also learning not to shy away from admitting that I am gifted in certain things. I want to be humble, but not to the point where it sounds like I’m doubting what I can do! It’s all a balance.

The words I’m about to share with you are some I wrote last week, not knowing that I’d need them this week. I’m always amazed at how God works. I pray that you’re encouraged 💙

“imposter”

Stop letting that imposter syndrome shake you, and make you forget who you are!

Don’t become numb to believing you’ll be a work in progress for a while, for
Even pros are still working towards their best, yet
They still carry their titles. 

Look in the mirror and confidently declare that
The gifts you have are what GOD gave you,
And no one can try to tell you otherwise! 

Don’t wait for a specific marker…

*When I accomplish this…
*When I make this much money…
*When I turn this age…
*When I get this experience…

 …to tell you when you’ll be great because YOU ALREADY ARE, RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE! And you’ll only get stronger, more experienced, more advanced! 

Stop saying…

“I think”
“I feel like”
“I’m sort of,” or
“I’m working on being,”
no, DECLARE:

“I AM __________.”

And

“I DO __________.”

Please do not doubt what you’re capable of.

Mishy 🦋💙