couple > me.

I don’t want this post to come off as me complaining, and just in case…

*DISCLAIMER: I am truly grateful for the wonderful, loving responses from everyone who’s supported my boyfriend’s latest music video for “Flower Child”! In no way am I saying that I don’t appreciate the sweet feedback from those who love it! Thank you again! 💙

Okay, now I’m just going to go ahead and write this…

I’ve noticed that my social media/my brand will get more feedback / attention when I post pictures or videos of me and my boyfriend, but when it comes to just me, or a project I’m doing, or a video or blog I’ve posted…the support is sometimes lacking. I won’t say there isn’t any support, because I’d be lying. But why is it that some people JUMP at the chance to support my relationship before what I do individually? It’s so interesting to me.

It’s as if I and the things that I do are only “valuable” to others when I’m seen with my significant other. And I know that’s not true to those who are genuine supporters of me, but all of a sudden, people start coming out of the woodwork when my boyfriend shows up on my page. While I appreciate the support our relationship gets, I’m curious to know what you all think about this.

Do we idolize the human relationship so much that we’ve forgotten the value of the individual, and what they do by themselves? Are we all so stuck on the infatuation of what a relationship can give us (whether we’re in one or just watching one from a distance), that if we see a person who’s single, we can’t just see them as single and satisfied, we have to see them as “single and searching”, “single and talking to someone, sort of”, or “single, but they got ‘hoes,’ probably”?

Again, I don’t say this to complain, and to all those who just love love, that’s great! You do you! I’m just wondering what other people’s thoughts are on this. Because, of course, you can’t be on social media these days without seeing AT LEAST ONE couple photo, be it someone you personally know, someone you used to know, or a celebrity couple.

When we see a relationship posted, what are the things we think? What are the things that we value in seeing that couple? What are the things we hope for and wish for when we’re in relationships of our own?

Does seeing how other people on social media treat their significant others affect how we would want to be treated in our own relationships, or can we distance ourselves and our own lives from those things, and live the way we want to, in agreement with our partners? How are we judging other people in their relationships when things are posted on social media, or even when things aren’t posted?

And how do all these things affect how we view the individual person? Because you know it does, especially if you know one out of the two people in a relationship. You may think, “Hmm, I know (insert guy’s name here) really well, so that means his girlfriend must be (insert assumption here).” You may not say it out loud, but you might have thought this, maybe even subconsciously. You have expectations for how the individuals are based on seeing them as a couple.

Just me rambling on some thoughts I had! I would love to hear some feedback on what you all have to say. I’m not here to start arguments, though, so, if that’s your goal, please don’t comment. But if you want to show me a different perspective, then by all means, please do! I’d love to have a conversation with you about it.

Or, maybe this post is just for you to think, to get some of your own thoughts out, and that’s great too! I know just writing this blog has helped me re-evaluate how I view myself, and other individuals who are in relationships as well!

Mishy 🦋🤎

halfway there – bsgp. (+ a special announcement!)

I actually write this, and I’m over halfway done with the Brown Skin Girl Project. But let’s dive in to how I’m feeling / what’s been happening while this project has been going on, shall we?

it’s official…

I’m officially quarantined. Not just “oh, we suggest that you quarantine, stay 6 feet apart, etc.” no, I’m legit, “cannot go anywhere, not even the grocery store, you need someone else to do that for you,” quarantined. Due to a circumstance that happened last week while I was at work, it’s possible that I could be carrying COVID-19, and develop symptoms. Even though I took the test earlier this week, and it came back negative. 14 days, y’all…I’m now on day 6, and it’s been, meh. 😭

And during this time, I’ve also had some other health things going on that are causing me and my little anxious heart to want to cry out in fear, if I’m being honest. I’m grateful that I’ve got all this time to work on my creativity, to finish up the Brown Skin Girl Project, but it’s hard to create when I’ve got a lot of things going on in other areas, and I’m really trying not to panic about it all.

But, “God doesn’t give us the spirit of fear,” and while I know this, and I’m reciting it to myself to keep me calm, all the while, I’m still battling the worry. Pray for me, please, if you think of me!

as for the project itself:

Y’all, the project has been doing so great, in my opinion! I’m really glad that I was able to take my time on this, and learn and create so many awesome resources, and give these women an opportunity to talk about themselves in all sorts of aspects!

The finale of the project is a Words with Women event that I plan on doing virtually so that there doesn’t have to be any 6-feet apart, only 10 people can show up madness. Because I want ALL THE WOMEN to participate in this with me! It will definitely be different since it’ll be done virtually, but I’m still excited to see who will show up, and the many different perspectives that will contribute to the conversation!

So, without further ado, I present the official Words with Women flyer!

If you’re a woman reading this, and you’re interested in participating, please email me at the email on the flyer, and you’ll get a Zoom link for the event meeting! I’m really excited to have this event again, even considering the circumstances, and I hope you all are excited as well!

Mishy 🦋🤎

quarter of the way – bsgp.

So, many of you who follow me know that I’ve been working on The Brown Skin Girl Project since May began, leaving me really no time to blog until today, honestly. I had my very last interview for the project today, so all that’s left is to edit the videos, create the rest of the content and post!

I decided today to write a little bit about how the process has been up until now, and then check in again once the halfway mark, 3/4 mark, and the end is here…

first quarter.

Ahh the beginning…it seems so long ago!

Honestly, I was hella nervous during these first several interviews, mostly because I hadn’t done this in such a long time. I had already planned on switching shirts for every interview, even if they were scheduled on the same day, but with the way I was sweating through each one, it was necessary to change 😅

The last time I tried doing an interview project was four years ago when I still lived on Tybee, and I had created a Tybee Island Profiles page to go around and interview different locals from the island about who they were and what they did. That is honestly how my writing project #JustStartWriting began (another story for another time. Another project for another time too).

And it’s crazy because I didn’t really make the connection between this project and the Tybee Island project from years ago until recently. In some way, I guess those journalism classes I took in high school/college still stick with me!

I got excited when it came time to edit the videos because I hadn’t edited long videos in a while since my last #MotivationalMishyMonday season (also another project I need to work on. Be patient with me lol). And when I started the actual editing process…

Y’all, I won’t lie…I was slightly shocked at the amount of work that this project required. I knew I was going to have to put effort in, but I mean, I started staying up until 2am editing videos and making sure the content to post was accurate. I felt like I was back in college: slightly procrastinating, but getting the job done.

The releasing of a project is always exciting; the first post received so much feedback and support, I was honestly thrilled! Since then, things seemed to have slightly died down. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate anyone who’s been actively liking, sharing, commenting on everything that’s been posted so far! This isn’t about me and my platform, I just hope each of these ladies is getting not only exposure, but also support in what they’re doing and working towards!

I’m grateful for a couple of things:

  1. I’m grateful that, before all this quarantine-ing started, I went to SimplyMac at Hamilton Place Mall, and dropped the money I’d been saving on a MacBook Air. Because if I didn’t have this laptop, I probably wouldn’t have the opportunity to do this project. My old laptop was so outdated and slow, there would be no chance really of getting this project done as smoothly as it’s been going (even if I do stay up until 2am!)
  2. I’m really grateful for technology to be this advanced to do things such as this project. Zoom has been the best tool for this! I’ve been able to get to know these women better than just following them on Instagram, and seeing little snippets of their lives. I actually got to hear from their own mouths what drives them, what they long to do now and into the future, and random facts about them as well!
  3. I’m grateful for a project to work on at all during this time. Even though I will be returning to work soon, it’s nice to be able to do something this big and creative before I need to be back in a consistent schedule. It’s nice to feel what it will be like when I leave the 9-5 behind and create for a living!

As I write this, I’m almost halfway done with with the Brown Skin Girl Project, but I’ll save my halfway point thoughts for the next post I make about this!

What’s an idea you’ve been working on that’s turned into a project, a podcast, a website, etc.? How did it feel to work on something creatively and consistently? What are some things you’re thankful for that have allowed you to do your project?

Mishy 🦋🤎

P.S. Please make sure you head to my Instagram (@mishywrites) and check out the Brown Skin Girl Project! All interviews are on my IGTV channel, and pictures and favorite quotes of the women featured are on my actual page!

reality.

Well, y’all, it’s official. A set date has been made for when I’ll be returning to work, and it all seems so surreal. Part of me wonders how I’ll be once I do return; will I go back to the same habit of being constantly busy? I really hope not; seeing the hours I’m going to work though, I’m nervous that it’ll just be going back to same old, same old for me.

But I still have about three weeks left of social distancing, so I’m going to take advantage of it as much as possible!

Even though going back to work seems like going “back to reality,” I know for a fact it won’t be the same. Already, we’re having to change so many ways in which we need to do things; I’m afraid the place that I worked at before will never return to be the way it was even months after we return.

Don’t get me wrong, it will be sweet to reunite with my coworkers, and to see what new children I’ll get to have this summer. But a part of me does wish I could have had just one more week with the kids I had for this past school year. Even if I was rippin’ and runnin’ this semester (well, most of the school year), I still enjoyed my kids. I enjoyed teaching with my co-teachers, and getting to talk with them, not only about school things, but also about our lives.

And I could say that the routine was bearable, but maybe now I can have a better handle on how I do things from here on out when it comes to the time I do have outside of work.

Another part of me feels sort of selfish because I know that while I’ve had practically ten weeks off, there have been so many people who have continued to work, either on the front lines as essential workers, or from home. For some, it has picked up their workload even more so, and I do want to say how grateful I am for those who have been continuing to work through this whole pandemic time.

I can only continue to pray that even before I go back to work, things will get better. Life will return to when we can all be in large groups together without face masks, and without the concern that we may be endangering each other. And I can also pray that, when it is time for me to return to work, that I won’t return to the same habits that I had, but will be more present, more aware of how I’m feeling, more willing to sacrifice a routine or schedule to do things I feel led to do instead of doing things I “have” to do outside of work, and more grateful for the way things are, because things change quicker than we can blink our eyes.

What are some things you’ve learned that you can take with you once a routine away from social distancing starts for you? How can you be sure that you’ll stick to those things moving forward?

Mishy 🦋🤎

if you know an encourager/motivator/supporter…keep reading.

As someone who is known as an encourager and motivational speaker (I was also told yesterday that I’m viewed as a “life coach,” and I am humbled to have that title attached to me and what I do), I have something to say:

Please check up on people like me.

Sometimes there can be this misconception that people who are great at encouraging, motivating, and supporting others don’t need anyone to help them stay encouraged, motivated, or supported. This is a lie; truly, I could not do what I do, or say what I say, first of all without the help of the Holy Spirit, but it also helps to have wise, caring, and supportive people in my life to help me get through as well.

what I’m not saying…

  • I’m not saying that motivators/encouragers/supporters are always down in the dumps. But personally, I do go through my moments when I feel like I can’t do what I do; I can’t write, I can’t organize the projects I’m working on well, I can’t create well, etc. Everyone goes through those moments at some point in their journey, so just be mindful that those inspirational people go through them too.
  • I’m not saying that you need to check up on these people every single day. But if you think about them, shoot them a text. Call their phone, and if they don’t pick up, don’t take it personally, but leave a nice voicemail for them to listen to later. If you see something that reminds you of them, get it for them (depending on what it is), or take a picture of it and send it to them telling them that you thought about them when you saw it. There are so many ways for you to show someone that you’re thinking of them, or just hear for them if they need you. Sometimes these things are all it takes to turn someone’s day around. Get creative! 😊
  • I’m not guilt-tripping you right now if you haven’t checked up on these kinds of people in your life, I’m simply here to remind you! We all need reminders every now and then, and even though I’m an encourager, I have friends who are also encouragers that I need to be mindful about checking on too!

You know who the encouragers in your group of friends are, so I challenge you to reach out to one or two or all of them this week. Because it takes a lot for anyone to pour into people, or to pour out onto a platform or brand, and even though it may seem like they’re always up for it, I can guarantee you that there are days when they don’t feel up to it, and they most likely still do it anyway!

And for the record, I’m not writing this post because I’m currently feeling some type of way right now. I’m actually doing quite well, and I’m grateful for the people in my life who do check up on me when they think of me, or when they get the chance!

Mishy 🦋🤎

meet pops. 🌿

Story time!

It’s been a minute since I’ve told a story on here, so I’m excited that I get to indulge y’all in something different!

If you follow me on Instagram, you’ll know that I posted a picture of this little guy on my story this past week, asking who wanted to hear a story about him…

I also asked my followers what I should name him, and after only several good name choices were offered (Xavier, Edward, Jeffrey, Pops) I decided to go with “Pops” because of what this plant has gone through. And here’s where I’ll explain…

it looks like the end…

One night, my boyfriend closed my porch door. Normally, Pops is on the complete opposite side of where the door shuts so that he isn’t in danger of getting shut by the door.

So, you see what happened then…

Yes, my boyfriend accidentally shut him in the door, causing many of his little leaves to come off, and the top half of one of his branches completely came off. I felt many emotions…sad, upset, frustrated. I had watched this little succulent grow in over a year after my stepdad gave him to me for Valentine’s Day 2019. He was the only plant that I kept alive since Reyna and Tula 1.0 were unfortunately not taken care of properly last summer. And suddenly, he’d been crushed because, as my boyfriend put it, “He got up and walked toward the door without him seeing.” 😭

I honestly felt like Pops was going to die after that, and I was so sad about it (this was before I got my hibiscus plants, Reyna and Tula 2.0). I loved watching him gain new leaves, and I eventually wanted to repot him this summer.

pop go the new leaves

You read it right!

After several days of continuing to water Pops and give him as much sun as he needed, I took a good look at him, and noticed that there were little new leaves popping up where the old leaves had been (I guess those old leaves were dead).

I couldn’t have been happier! I’m really glad I didn’t throw him away when he got crushed, because now I get to see the new growth happening first hand! 😍🌱

let’s talk about us

As I thought about Pops’ story, I thought about us as people. There are a lot of things in life that can and will crush us at some point, and in those moments, we have choices to make. We can either throw all the potential we have stored within ourselves away, and give into what crushed us, or we can choose to try to keep growing and striving toward moving past it.

Of course, I encourage us to do the latter; we are so much more capable of healing if we give ourselves time. But too often, if we don’t heal in the time we desire, we can tend to give up, or try to take shortcuts to healing by just pretending everything is okay.

A plant may be able to pretend things are okay by looking okay for a small period of time. But then what happens? One day, it starts to droop, or it loses leaves, visibly showing that it’s not okay, that it needs water, sunlight, or fertilizer. And the same goes with us as people!

Pops was a great reminder for me to keep going, even when I’m being crushed by a heavy emotion or event in my life. He also is a great reminder to keep taking care of myself with whatever I may need spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically. And I hope you’re reminded of this as well!

What’s something in your life that’s been a great reminder? It can be a plant, an animal, a game, an event, etc. What was the lesson it reminded you of? Did it change the way you view yourself or others?

Mishy 🦋🤎

put to practice.

And just like that, y’all…I write a blog post about how things change, and today, things went and changed up on me! 😂 God must’ve been like, Okay, so you writing all this stuff…let’s see how well you put it into practice when it happens!

Some of the meetings I’d set up for the Brown Skin Girls project had to be switched around, leaving me another free day to do what I needed to do! In my mind, that just tells me that God thought I needed an extra day to prepare myself, and I’m grateful for that. Because I was excited, but also low-key nervous to start this project up, and having another day allowed me to truly be ready!

How do you handle change? Sometimes it’s easier to brush it off when it doesn’t inconvenience us, but when it throws a whole wrench in matters you’d already planned, it can be many things: annoying or frustrating. It can cause us to place a whole raincloud over a day that can still be just as good even if things didn’t go as planned.

I could go into how we’re all doing this thing that none of us ever planned, but I’m sure you all understand by now. I’m sure many of us have gone through different phases during this time, and are still going through those phases as it drags on longer and longer. I pray that you see each day not as an inconvenience, but as opportunity. That we allow ourselves to see the silver lining when a cloud comes through.

Did anyone write down their end-of-the-month check-up based off my blog post yesterday? If you missed out, you can find it here. It’ll help you think about all the changes that have occurred, the ways in which you’ve changed, and what should leave or stay in regards to May being tomorrow!

Not too much to write about today, BUT I’ve decided to tell the story about my succulent plant here on the blog tomorrow, so stay tuned!

Mishy 🦋🤍

april: end-of-the-month check-up.

April’s last day is tomorrow, and May is open for so many possibilities.

Thirty-one days for things to change. People say a lot can happen in a year, but a lot happens in just one month! For instance, in April, I did a photoshoot for a clothing brand (go, Modern Hippie!), I bought two hibiscus plants and repotted them (and am scheming to buy a shelf specifically for plants in my apartment, along with another pot to replant my succulent). I started a new skin care routine that has my face ✨GLOWING✨ (plus I’ve been drinking more water too), and I’ve been doing a 6-week home workout challenge to keep myself in shape since the gyms are closed (and I won’t be stepping foot in one until this whole pandemic is fully resolved!).

See how much changed for me? And now I’ve got another guaranteed month off of work, and I’m curious to see what God will do in this time for me. I’ve already got things planned, but how many times have things that we’ve planned not go the way we thought they would? And how often are we okay with that?

I’m going to do something I haven’t done since January, when I originally posted this, and give y’all an end-of-the-month check-up. Just a list of things for y’all to think about as April is closing, and May begins!

Accomplishments 🎉

  • What did you achieve this month?
  • Did you start something new?
  • Did you finish any resolutions you made at the beginning of the year?

Lessons 🤔

  • What did you learn this month?
  • How can you take any failures/mistakes you made this month, and turn them into lessons learned?
  • How can you apply these lessons to this next month coming up?

Goals 📝

  • What new goals do you have for next month?
  • Which goals from last month will be transferred to this month? How long do you think it will take to achieve them?
  • Write down specific things you need to work on. Remember that your goal isn’t to get these things perfect by next month, it’s to progress in them next month!

Spiritual Life 🙏🏽

  • What was one major thing God revealed to you this month?
  • What was a prayer God answered this month? (Not answered with a “yes” specifically, just answered: yes, no, wait, etc.)
  • In what ways do you feel like you’ve grown spiritually?
  • What areas in your spiritual life do you need to work on? 

Relationships 🤝

  • Name at least 3-5 people you got to meet/got to know this month.
  • Name at least 3-5 people you would want to meet up with/get to know better next month.
  • If you weren’t really social this month, write down ways you can make more time to spend time with those you love 

Self-Care ✨

  • Did you get to make time for yourself this month? 
  • If “YES,” in what ways? Which ones will you hold onto this next month? Will/how can you switch things up next month?
  • If “NO,” how can you be sure to make time for yourself/take care of yourself this month? What things will you focus on in your self-care routine? 

***Remember! Self-care doesn’t have to be expensive…you don’t need to spend money! There are plenty of ways to take care of yourself that cost nothing 😊

I know I’ll be spending a significant amount of time in my own journal jotting things down so I can anticipate the changes going to occur!

What are the thoughts you have when the end of the month, or even the end of a season occurs? How can you better anticipate the changes that will happen? Do you even take thought to when time changes?

Mishy 🦋🤍

healing wholly.

Happy Tuesday, luvvies!

It’s been days since I’ve blogged, but it’s because of the new Brown Skin Girl Project I’ve been organizing! I’ve been scheduling meetings, emailing reminders, creating content, all the while just trying to get in some time to do all the things I’ve been doing since the quarantine started.

Last week was a good week for me, honestly. It was the first time in a while that I’d felt more at peace, more grounded and centered, and actually okay with who and where I am, and what I look like. Maybe the latter is because my skin is clearing up due to my new skin care routine, and actually drinking enough water 😅 And maybe the other two are because of my willingness to surrender everything I’d been feeling, and to allow God to work through all of it in His own way.

It doesn’t mean it’s easy, though. I wish I could say that I recently felt the same way as I did last week, but the Enemy does his best to kill the joy that you feel somehow, especially after you feel like you’re “in the clear.”

But one thing I can say, is that I’m thankful for this time I’ve been given; these couple of months being stowed away at home have given me time to heal wholly.

half the healing

Before when I was working about 10 hours a day then going straight from work to the gym then back home just to have enough time to shower, eat, and then go to sleep, I had hard days when I thought self-sabotaging thoughts and placed the weight of everything associated with me upon myself. And what did I do? I’d just shove those feelings down my throat as best as I could, and kept it pushing. Because there wasn’t time to act like that; I had things to do, people to work with, a schedule to uphold. If I cried, I’d have maybe 10 minutes in the bathroom at work to do it before my coworkers wondered where I was (doesn’t mean I never did it. I just felt guilty for doing so). Or I’d have 10 minutes before my boyfriend had to clock into work to briefly talk about it before I couldn’t speak to him for another 2 hours.

Those little 10-minute moments were simply mini-healing sessions, times I tried to sort through what was going through my mind in as little time as possible before I just pushed it all to the back burner and got back to my routine. Sometimes they worked, and sometimes they didn’t. In hindsight, I I feel like it was mostly unhealthy for me to rush the healing process, but during that time, I really thought they were somehow still helping me by getting it all out little by little.

The problem was that there wasn’t really healing happening, just bandaging it up. Maybe not even that; more like putting duct tape over an open wound, and planning on taking it off later, only to rip the tape off, opening the wound even more, and seeing that there was no healing ever happening…the wound may even look worse because I didn’t tend to it properly in the moment it should have been dealt with.

Unfortunately, I’ve been dealing with all of those duct-taped wounds during this quarantine time, and while what I may post seem all peachy keen to you all, what I’d been feeling on the inside has been truly hurtful. Not all the time, mind you, but I definitely have had some hard times mentally. Having all of those wounds patched while I tried to truly heal only allowed their toxicity to come through, and try to tear down those parts of me I was working on.

still surrendering

Honestly, I started writing this post yesterday morning, and I went through different phases. Yesterday morning, I was talking bout how I could see the progress I was making in surrendering, not just creative projects, but in my life. Then yesterday evening, I was having a hard time letting go of some of the things I thought I let go. And today, I’m feeling so much better!

I even had to go back and reread the last blog I posted about surrender to remind myself what I even said. How often do we do that though? Feel like we’ve taken three steps forward, and then in a day or so, we feel like we’re right back to where we started.

But I’m learning to be more gentle with myself, to be okay with the surrender being a process, as everything is. It’s a daily battle: to surrender the burdens I feel like I need to hold onto, and the weight of things in my life that I feel I must carry, or it won’t make it to where God eventually wants me to be.

what about you?

Have you been healing during this time? What are some ways you’ve been doing that? How have you been handling the rough days? The good days? How do you remind yourself that God is in control of all things, and that you need to daily surrender to Him?

Mishy 🦋🤍

surrender.

I just had to surrender.

Sometimes, when I want to create something new, be it a poem or full on project, I get frustrated when it doesn’t come to me quickly. I try to think of new ways to do things, try to look things up, brainstorm, and nothing will come.

But there’s something about that moment of surrender…

When you just roll with the punches, when you just go on about your day, doing the things you had in mind to do, or letting the day unfold before you; I find that it’s in THOSE times…an idea is formed. I truly believe my best ideas are God sent, and I believe He won’t send them until I surrender the process to Him. Because if I try hard to think of something, and end up with a plan, more than likely, I’ll pat myself on the back for it than give God the credit.

So I’m grateful for the times He reminds me to just let Him work. To just keep my hands open to receive what He has for me.

I did a lot of letting go this morning as I started my day, and I feel like it made my day go 10x’s smoother than when I’ve just got a closed fist over everything. Keeping my hand shut tight gives me the illusion of control, when in reality, it only hinders me from opening my eyes and heart to the things around me, to other things I haven’t thought of.

I encourage you: surrender. Wherever you are and whatever you’ve got going on, open up that hand of yours. Release any sense of control you think you have or should have, and ask God to open your eyes.

I believe that what He reveals to you will be more beautiful, more extravagant than you can imagine!

How hard is it for you to surrender? What are some things you might need to let go of to make room for God to show you something new?

Mishy 🦋🤍