There’s something stirring in my spirit. I’m not sure what it is, but it’s there. Something is coming.
*pause* Hello, sweet readers. I know it’s been a minute (as it always is), but I’m back for just a little bit! So much is going on in my world, and while I may not be writing it here, I’m journaling almost every day, and that to me is such a huge stress relief and release for me to do so! I hope you all are well. I know; so much for writing every day lol
Last week, I tweeted this after a co-worker of mine asked if I would be returning to my current job (preschool teaching) next school year…
Now, I didn’t tell her this, but my response to her is what spurred this tweet on. Because honestly, I didn’t want to return next school year; I had bigger visions of where I would be months from now, and it is far away from where I currently am. These thoughts could be emboldened for several reasons…
It could be because I auditioned to be an open act for Rupi Kaur’s show in Atlanta, and I have faith that that gig is mine if it’s meant for me. It could be because I pitched an idea, and it was accepted, so now I can move in a new, creative way for the next several weeks. It could be because I’m just fed up with my “9-5” now. It served me well initially, but as these five years have gone by, I can feel how it’s been eating away at my positivity, and causing me to settle for way less than I know I’m worth.
I am making space for what’s to come. And I know something huge is coming.
And I believe this feeling is coming from God affirming me for being so fearless in these decisions lately. He’s given me the courage to step out and say that I’m worthy of doing certain things, and has confirmed this by giving me opportunities that I’m truly excited for! It will only go up from here, and I type this with confidence.
I labeled the past couple of years my “Butterfly Year,” but in reality, I know this year is truly it. Not because I didn’t announce it like I did in 2020 or 2021 (sheesh, I may have even declared it in 2019 too), but because I’ve not only gained opportunities, but also lost some and lost people along the way. Possibilities that I thought would gain me more insight or more exposure quickly fizzled out. People’s true intentions were shown, whether they were to use me and my platform for their own personal gain, or to just have me around when I was down about myself to make them feel good about themselves.
Because of these losses, my vision is clearer. I’m less distracted by flashy windows of opportunity, and I’m taking chances at doors of purpose for ME because I finally believe in myself in every single area. I couldn’t tell that to you last year, the year before that, or even the year before that. And, if you’ve been following me for a while, you’re probably thinking, How did you not feel yourself back then? You sure seemed like it! What do we say all the time, though? Social media can create such major illusions, and I successfully hid behind them when I wanted to, and was vulnerable when I wanted to be in order to make sure I was still being a real human on my platforms.
Don’t take that as an admission of me being fake; I have always aimed to be the realest I can be on social media and elsewhere. But I also have to save some for myself, and there are battles and scars that only those closest to me will ever truly witness. What I decide to share with you is real, but it may not be everything.
Where was I going with this? Oh, yes.
Something big is coming. Something HUGE. And I am making space for it, not by shrinking myself to fit into it, but by taking the space over in every way that I see fit.
I am done playing small. I am done wondering “What if…?” I am done talking myself out of ideas and opportunities because I’ve settled with where I am in my life. It is time to do away with all of that, and within the first quarter of this year, I am grateful to say that I have done just that. And anything I missed, God quickly took care of for me, whether it was stopping me from meeting up with someone or completely removing something or someone off the table.
I am ready for this space to be filled. I am ready to make space for more.
How are you making space for what’s to come in your own life?