stepping up.

“Imagine all the people who would have been affected if Esther never stepped up. Okay, now imagine all the people who will be affected if you never do.”

– from @shespeaksministries Instagram, written by @worthyofgrace
View this post on Instagram

‭⬇️Devo ✍🏼 @worthyofgrace . Esther a woman who was not born into royalty, but was chosen by God to be queen to save the Jewish people from annihilation. Her story is a lot like ours, once an orphan, but now chosen to do the work of her Heavenly Father. Esther is easy to relate to. When Mordecai (her cousin, but he also adopted her, and raised her), came to Esther one night and said, that Haman has order the death of the Jews – her people. Esther was saddened by this news, and Mordecai encouraged her to speak up for the voice-less. Sometimes, we sin by what we know to do, but yet, we do not do it. Speaking up for truth and justice in the midst of great fear had Esther dreading this assignment. It’s easy to want to back down, because of fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of can God really use me, fear that the whole plan will be utterly chaotic and ruined if you do it, so you back down. Well, despite all her fears, Esther called for a fast, and God responded with great favor for her and the Jews. Is God calling you to do something hard? To speak up, to step into your purpose, to pursue your Heavenly Father’s business? Remember Jesus always went about healing people and doing good – ACTS 10:38 (I love that about him)! . You were made for such a time as this! It’s time to step out you are worth it! You and God got this! #shespeaksfire . Esther 4:14:“If you keep quiet at a time like this, deliverance and relief for the Jews will arise from some other place, but you and your relatives will die. Who knows if perhaps you were made queen for just such a time as this?”” ‬

A post shared by She Speaks Ministries 🗣🔥 (@shespeaksministries) on

//www.instagram.com/embed.js

My coworkers all decided to wear red, white, and blue to work today since tomorrow we’ll be off, and the Fourth of July is this Saturday. If you’re not aware: with the recent events surrounding racial tension, and the increase of racial awareness, most Black people have decided to celebrate Juneteenth instead of July 4th for Independence Day, declaring the Fourth of July a “white holiday.”

So, all week I’d debated on whether or not I should participate because I definitely wasn’t planning on celebrating the fourth, and I didn’t want to symbolize that I was with what I was wearing, but I also knew that, being the only Black woman in my workplace, I’d probably be making people feel uncomfortable, and questioning me as to why I didn’t dress in the said colors. And since I work in a preschool, I didn’t need or want parents complaining to my boss about what I was wearing either.

Because I decided this morning to wear my “I Can’t Breathe” shirt instead.

I had so many thoughts: Would someone say I was trying to be political by wearing it? Would my boss be angry with me? Is wearing this shirt inappropriate for work? But why would it be? Why am I questioning if I can wear this shirt when I’m able to wear almost anything to work and be 100% fine? (I knew the answer to the last question)

I resolved that, if my boss told me to take it off, I’d just take it off and just have a different shirt on, but I would not wear the color combos red, white, and blue to work today. I was honestly sort of nervous…so much so that I texted the co-teacher I’m working with this summer about it to get her thoughts…not her permission. She fully supported my decision, and even said she wouldn’t wear the designated colors too so I wouldn’t be alone.

As I prayed this morning and prepared my heart for the day, the quote above popped into my mind. I’d read it yesterday, and was touched at how powerful it was, and I was grateful that it could resonate with me this morning. (If you don’t know about the story of Esther, definitely check her out in the Bible. Such an amazing woman!) What if I wore the shirt and was able to start conversations with my co-workers about what was happening, not just in our city, but in our country as a whole? Granted, we’ve been back to work for weeks now…I honestly feel like some of them are avoiding the topic of racial tension because they don’t want to say the wrong things or offend me. But I’d rather them say something wrong and I be able to help them understand why than to not talk about it at all. Because the reality is, they work with ME…I, a Black woman, am going to be with them five days a week, and that right there is looking and being with racial tension – what to say, what not to say. To touch my hair or not to. To make comments about certain situations, or to just be silent. I see all of that stuff, and I take notes, and act accordingly.

If I chose to just give in and wear what everyone else was wearing, I felt like I’d just be giving up, and not speaking up. And while I shouldn’t be the only person that my co-workers go to for Black questions, I feel a responsibility as the only Black woman there to be the voice for the Black community that is rarely if not at all represented in that area.

The result?

I went to work, had a co-worker ask what my shirt said, I showed her, and she said, “Oh, okay!” Had a few other co-workers see my shirt and they silently kept it pushing.

Feeling like I had to explain myself (which I shouldn’t have to, but anyways…), I talked to the same co-worker who asked me what my shirt said about why I wasn’t wearing red, white, and blue, and she fully understood, and said she wasn’t offended, and didn’t know why others would be.

When my co-teacher came into work a little later without any red, white, or blue on, my boss asked her why she wasn’t wearing any, yet she didn’t ask me when she fully saw that I wasn’t wearing any either.

Apparently, she also made a comment out loud again about how one of the kids in our class looked cute wearing the patriotic colors, but my co-teacher (not me) wasn’t matching.

It sort of breaks my heart that no one really asked me more about my shirt, or tried to ask my opinion on what was happening, or even ask how I was doing (because since everything started in late May/early June, no one from my job has asked except my co-teacher) but it also doesn’t surprise me. I just wish people wouldn’t be afraid to have racial conversations that could possibly expose things they didn’t know weren’t okay to say, do, believe, etc. And maybe they are having those conversations outside of work, which is great! I’d just like to know that that information is being translated to EVERY area of their lives, NOT JUST to their black friends outside of work, or their black family members.

I will say that I’m extremely grateful for my co-teacher…she stepped up for me today, and I cannot thank her enough! It felt good to have someone stand with me in solidarity today. And even through these first few weeks of work, she’s been pro-active about asking me questions and talking about the racial events that are happening, and I believe it is not a coincidence, but a full-on blessing that we were assigned to be with each other this summer.

Just felt like I had to share that. There is SO much work to be done to undo all the racial injustice our country has held tightly to, and I’m grateful that the protests haven’t died down, and pray that the conversations everywhere don’t die down either. While my gesture of wearing a “I Can’t Breathe” shirt to work may seem small, it opened my eyes to just how deep the fear of being called out about my race is rooted in me. And in no way would I say that I’m ashamed to be Black! But I know that I myself need to shake out of being afraid to be a topic of conversation, or to have conversations with people I’m with on a daily basis, or with my friends or family.

I continue to pray that all my Black brothers and sisters would be able to step up wherever they are: in their friend circles, in their families (whether blood or in-laws), in their workplaces, etc. I pray for strength and courage. I pray for peace. And I pray that the spirit of racism would cower at the Holy Spirit, who favors no person because of their race or background, but lives within WHOEVER believes in Jesus Christ and His death, resurrection, and return.

BLACK BROTHERS AND SISTERS: What are some ways you’ve had to step up for yourself, either recently or in the past, in regards to your race? Where do you find the most support? Where do you find the most tension?

BLACK ALLIES: Have you been inspired by a Black friend, family member, co-worker, significant other, etc. who has stood up in the face of racism, or in just the isolation of being Black in a particular place or circumstance? How did you respond? Did you learn anything that you’ll take with you as the fight for racial equality and justice continues?

Mishy 🦋💙

through His Eyes.

A couple of nights ago as I lied in bed, trying to get to sleep, I began praying for all the things I’d been so focused on last week. All my frustrations, all my concerns…and I’m not sure if I dozed off a little bit, or what, but all I know is, my mind began to think and then sing this song…

Just take a look through my eyes.
There’s a better place somewhere out there.
Just take a look through my eyes.
Everything changes, you’ll be amazed what you find,
When you look through my eyes.

Guys…if you know, you know. That’s a song from the Disney movie Brother Bear. 😂 And while it’s comical that that song popped in my head, and I hadn’t seen that movie since I was probably around ten years old, the words were significant enough for me to shoot my eyes open, and lie in bed to briefly think about them.

Not only that, but I prayed, asking God to help me remember the next morning that this song was in my mind the night before. And it brought me peace. Because I wasn’t think about the song and how it related to the movie, I was thinking about how it related to my life.

Here we are smack dab in the middle of the week, probably still reflecting on the events of last week, and even the events of the last few months – coronavirus pandemic and the racial pandemic our country has been in, but has now resurfaced due to recent murders of black people. And it’s easy to look at things through so many perspectives, and then react to those perspectives in anger, hurt, sadness, etc. Not to mention that lately, it’s been personally easy for me to see myself in a perspective that isn’t uplifting, and then I sometimes react in the ways I named above.

This is just a reminder to see ourselves and our lives through God’s perspective, through His eyes. How would He want us to perceive the things happening in our world? How would He want us to react to it all? What would He want us to say when we have opportunities to speak up? What would He not want us to say when we have opportunities to speak?

Asking all these questions is like the deeper version of “WWJD?” (“What would Jesus do?”), and as a Christian in this broken world, I have to ask myself these things before I respond to anything that’s happening around me because I’m not just representing myself, I’m representing Christ as well. That doesn’t mean I won’t make mistakes, because I’ve definitely had some wrong reactions or said some wrong things due to just viewing things in a selfish way, but it doesn’t mean I should just give up and not work on it at all.

So, I just encourage my fellow Christian brothers and sisters to look at the world and to look at your life through His eyes, and act accordingly. What do you see, and how can you respond in a way that closely resembles how Christ would?

Also, don’t be surprised if God speaks to you through something like a Disney song. It may sound strange, but sometimes it takes something as simple, and what might seem somewhat silly, to grab our attention, and to have us hear His voice.

Mishy 🦋💛

if you know an encourager/motivator/supporter…keep reading.

As someone who is known as an encourager and motivational speaker (I was also told yesterday that I’m viewed as a “life coach,” and I am humbled to have that title attached to me and what I do), I have something to say:

Please check up on people like me.

Sometimes there can be this misconception that people who are great at encouraging, motivating, and supporting others don’t need anyone to help them stay encouraged, motivated, or supported. This is a lie; truly, I could not do what I do, or say what I say, first of all without the help of the Holy Spirit, but it also helps to have wise, caring, and supportive people in my life to help me get through as well.

what I’m not saying…

  • I’m not saying that motivators/encouragers/supporters are always down in the dumps. But personally, I do go through my moments when I feel like I can’t do what I do; I can’t write, I can’t organize the projects I’m working on well, I can’t create well, etc. Everyone goes through those moments at some point in their journey, so just be mindful that those inspirational people go through them too.
  • I’m not saying that you need to check up on these people every single day. But if you think about them, shoot them a text. Call their phone, and if they don’t pick up, don’t take it personally, but leave a nice voicemail for them to listen to later. If you see something that reminds you of them, get it for them (depending on what it is), or take a picture of it and send it to them telling them that you thought about them when you saw it. There are so many ways for you to show someone that you’re thinking of them, or just hear for them if they need you. Sometimes these things are all it takes to turn someone’s day around. Get creative! 😊
  • I’m not guilt-tripping you right now if you haven’t checked up on these kinds of people in your life, I’m simply here to remind you! We all need reminders every now and then, and even though I’m an encourager, I have friends who are also encouragers that I need to be mindful about checking on too!

You know who the encouragers in your group of friends are, so I challenge you to reach out to one or two or all of them this week. Because it takes a lot for anyone to pour into people, or to pour out onto a platform or brand, and even though it may seem like they’re always up for it, I can guarantee you that there are days when they don’t feel up to it, and they most likely still do it anyway!

And for the record, I’m not writing this post because I’m currently feeling some type of way right now. I’m actually doing quite well, and I’m grateful for the people in my life who do check up on me when they think of me, or when they get the chance!

Mishy 🦋🤎

the power of the creative.

My heart went out to her, and immediately, I just felt my purpose rise within me. Not in a prideful sense that said, “You WILL be the answer to her problems!” But more of, “I just want to shed hope to her situation; shine a light on any places in her life where it may be dim.”

A friend of mine was super vulnerable on her Instagram story several days ago, and hearing her vulnerability made me think several things…

  1. I’m SO PROUD of her for being that brave. Because we’re all in a pretty vulnerable, uncertain time right now, and for her to just express how she’s been feeling recently, and hopefully shed light on someone else’s situation was so admirable to me
  2. My heart went out to her, and I longed to understand her, to connect with her. I wasn’t super familiar with the situation she was in, but I thought, I wonder what writer she could read that would make her feel heard? I wonder what music she could listen to that would make her feel understood? Which motivational speaker could she watch of a video of, and feel like she isn’t alone?

this is our time.

I’ve seen a post several times on social media that talks about how, in the times we’re in right now with the quarantine/social distancing, people are looking to artists. To creatives. Because we’re capable of expressing hope and joy and peace when there seems to be none in sight. We’re able to relieve stress by creating things to ease people’s minds. And listening to my friend, my creative spirit just welled up inside of me, and honestly, that encouraged and inspired me.

Honestly, despite having time to work on things and write, I was initially feeling sort of unmotivated and uninspired at the beginning of this break. But hearing my friend tell her testimony to help others, it immediately inspired me to want to help others in my own way too, whether that be through poetry, my own testimony, or whatever!

So, any creatives out there…how have you stayed motivated in this time of quarantine? Who or what has inspired you to inspire someone else? It doesn’t even have to be a piece of art or a song, but it could just be someone writing or saying their experiences so far in this pandemic we’re all living in.

I hope you’re not just dwelling on your own situation, but you’re making an effort to hear others out as well. That’s how we’re all able to relate to one another. That is how we’re able to connect, uplift, and inspire! And you don’t even have to have the official “creative” label over your head to do this. And that’s the most beautiful thing 😍

This is our time, creatives! Let’s do this!

Mishy 🦋🙌🏽

voices.

As the cars drove past me, they could probably see me passionately mouthing a song as I drove past them, and maybe they wondered what song was blasting in my car as I boldly imitated the artist’s voice.

It would surprise them if they opened the car door and realized that there was no music; only my voice could be heard, singing acapella, for the first time in I couldn’t tell you how long…


Happy November!

I was going to write yesterday, because after realizing we have two more months left in the year, I wanted to challenge myself to go back to blogging a post every day into the New Year.

Lots has happened since I last wrote, and I haven’t done a very good job really thinking through everything through writing. So I figured it was high time I got back into the blogging game! And maybe even share some poetry with you guys along the way too 🙂

My first day of November was pretty crazy — my Nalgene water bottle that I’ve had since my freshman year of college broke (those who know me and my love of water know that this is a sad loss for me. Thankfully, a friend is gifting me with a new one!), there was a tornado warning at the preschool I work at, and the radio in my car blew a fuse, leaving me music-less for the rest of yesterday, and into today.

And that’s what I want to focus on right now — me having no music in my car. Because honestly, who even drives without playing any type of music, or listening to talk radio or a podcast? If you know someone, please let me know!

But yesterday as I drove from my first job to my second, the silence encouraged me to pray out loud for all the people and things that had been on my mind lately. And this morning, I was able to do the same thing. This afternoon, I was missing my music more, and without realizing, I broke out into song on my own (I sang SZA, “Supermodel,” then went straight into “Love Galore”).

And as I sang, I realized I hadn’t really heard myself sing without the music in my car for quite sometime. My voice sort of baffled me; is that what I really sounded like? Why hadn’t I sang in silence before?

Then I started to think how probably most people don’t truly know the sound of their own voice. And beyond that, why can’t we detach our voices from the sounds of others? Why is it that we sometimes only feel comfortable singing when the music is playing, when our voice is hidden behind that of an artist?

And apart from singing, can we be honest and say that we’re comfortable hearing our own voices? Past the busyness of life, can we hear ourselves? Some of us love hearing the sound of our voice, and others not so much. And if you hear your voice, what is it saying? What is the message you’re trying to express? And are you talking to yourself, or are is what you’re saying also meant for others to hear?

I did, in fact, fix my car radio tonight – just had to fix the fuse! But I’m grateful for the short time of silence I had without it, and I’m honestly more encouraged to ride in silence more often just to hear the sound of my voice, in prayer and in song.


I fear that we’ve forgotten the sound of our own voices.
We are so consumed by the things around us, the noises of every day life
Drown out our speech, our whispers, our singing…
It isn’t until we’re left in silence —
Phone dead, car radio broken, any trace of anyone, non-existent —
That we open our mouths.
And I bet that the sound of your own voice will snap you awake, it’ll
Take you back to a time when you knew what you sounded like because maybe now
Your voice is unfamiliar, foreign.
And it’s taken a forced moment in the quiet for you to remember your unique sound.
Stay still; breathe it all in, 
Actually listen to yourself. 
And know that your voice has the same value in the silence as it does in the chaos.

Mishy 🦋

Speak Up

You blink your eyes and two months go by without warning.

Someone maybe a month ago told me that they “needed Mishy blog posts,” and I honestly flipped out a little for several reasons:

1) I was flattered. Whatchu mean you need them?! Awwwww 🙈

2) I was reminded how I hadn’t blogged in AGES. It’s been a good minute.

3) I was shocked at how long it’d been since I’d actually sat down to write out a post, or to just sit down and think through everything currently happening in my life – my feelings, my beliefs, my plans, etc.

Blogging is one of the origins of my writing journey. It was the first place I’d decided to allow my thoughts and words to be seen by people other than myself, which was hella scary for me — I always knew I had a voice, had things to say, but was never brave enough to say them. Or to write them, and have other people read them.

Honestly, with this year being almost halfway over (WHAAAAT?!), it’s crazy to think back on how much I’ve had to use my actual voice, not just my writing voice. I’ve had to speak up on so many occasions this year, personally and poetically. And if you know anything about me, that’s difficult for me to do because I’m a people-pleaser.

But what does that have to do with using your voice? you may ask.

Well, it means that I don’t wanna do or SAY anything that’s going to hurt anyone in any way, even when what I have to do or say is healthy for me or whoever is involved. Speaking up, even with good intentions, can offend or hurt others, and there have been multiple times in which I stayed silent to save someone heartache or hurt feelings, even though I knew it was right for me to say something. And sometimes my silence, even though it saved the other person, caused suffering for myself.

So, I’ve had to speak up a lot. Especially for myself. I know that sounds kind of selfish, but honestly, the more I think back on my life, the more I’ve realized how much I’ve kept things bottled up inside. So many emotions and feelings about things that I had opinions on that I just stayed silent about, when I really should have said something.

Now, what I’m not saying is is that we should always just speak whatever is on our minds immediately; it pays to think before we speak. And it also pays to not speak sometimes, but to listen and observe in certain situations; we learn a lot about people, environments, etc. by doing so, and it could save us some unnecessary negative consequences later.

The difference with me is that I would think, and never speak because I was too timid or afraid of what others would think. I was afraid that my communication would come off as too aggressive, or if I disagreed with someone or something, then it would come across like I didn’t care about the person and their opinions. I was also afraid that I wouldn’t communicate my thoughts accurately, thereby creating another way to offend or hurt.

But, as cliche as this is, communication is key, and with everything that I’ve experienced in the past several months, I’m realizing that with speaking up I can’t avoid hurting people’s feelings sometimes; sometimes people’s toes need to be stepped on. Sometimes things need to be said the wrong way for me to be corrected by someone else, or for me to really sort out my thoughts and opinions aloud. And a lot of the time, speaking up brings about a lot of positive outcomes – connections with other people, new relationships, clarity.

And honestly, I think that’s why writing – both blogging and poetry – have been such key parts of my life. Even though I was still sort of timid to have people read my writing, I would rather them read my written thoughts than hear me speak them. But even this year I’m learning to vocalize my writing as well, and that’s been a whole other amazing process. Through specific events and open mics, and people who value other people’s voices and opinions, I have come out of my shell a ton, and said way more than I ever have (shout out to my friends Phenom and Garrell, and the whole Make Noise 423 crew for the major help in that!).

Basically, what I’m trying to tell you is this – speak up. Be it through writing, music, or actually talking, speak. up. Your voice matters where you are, and I know sometimes it may not feel like that. But you really never know until you try to use your voice, or express your thoughts and opinions. Like that old, overplayed song by I-don’t-know-who used to say, “Say what you need to say.”

Sometimes what you have to say may be something someone else is also thinking, but they’re also too scared to say it. Your voice could make a major difference, or it could create some conflict. It could spark change, either positive or negative. It could heal you or others. Whatever comes of you using your voice, it is important!! The world needs it! So speak up.

Mishy 🦋

speaking in silence.

Today, I lost my voice.

It’s that time of year when all the sicknesses are going around. I’d just gotten over a cold, and I guess maybe I really hadn’t gotten over it since this week I’ve been coughing, and now my voice has decided to leave me probably due to all the coughing, talking, singing, and yelling I’ve done throughout my week at work, home, with friends, etc.

Honestly, not being able to speak or sing is kind of frustrating for me. Especially since something I do and am passionate about is spoken word. I want to be able to practice, to hear myself say the things I’ve written. And I love to sing as I’m doing things throughout the house, and especially when I’m at work singing to the one-and-a-half to two-year-olds in my class.

It was interesting to go through today without my voice. If truly necessary, I would whisper, but for the most part I tried to give my vocal cords a rest and remain silent. Thankfully, both of my co-teachers were able to talk to the kids when I couldn’t, and sing when I couldn’t. I thought today would be more frustrating than it actually proved to be.

listen here…

Instead of being a voice in my world today, I’ve done a lot of listening.

Instead of…

…singing along to songs I played on my way to work
…talking to, yelling at, singing to the kids in my class
…having a lot to talk about with my co-workers

I was able to…

…listen to and really connect with the lyrics to the songs I was listening to.
…listen to my kids, and observe things I probably normally wouldn’t have.
…listen to what my co-workers had to say, whether it be about work, life, etc.

Having a voice is a powerful thing, but there was a lot of power in listening as well. I was shocked, honestly, to see some of my kids still understand me as I pointed to toys they should pick up and put in a box, and they did exactly that, without me verbally asking them to. It was as if they understood my motions and actions more than they understood the words. You’re probably thinking, “Well, yeah, Mishy, they’re only two-years-old,” but we’re encouraged to really talk with the kids so they can begin to verbalize their needs and wants to us, and ultimately talk in small, somewhat sentences.

still communicating

I also thought about how my facial expressions could express the same emotion just as well, and maybe even more so without me having to verbalize an expression like, “Oh no!” or “Yay!”And this thought led me to how awesome it is that God created different ways to express ourselves even when one part of expression is limited.

And I am thankful that, despite not having an audible voice, I’m still capable of using words or facial expression to communicate. That even though I’ve lost my voice today, I truly haven’t lost my voice altogether.

I can still speak through the silence.

This is also a lesson in thankfulness. I’m never truly grateful for something I have all the time until it’s gone. I normally have my voice, so I don’t ever think about losing it until it’s gone. So, even though I am thanking God for ways to communicate through the silence, I will learn to be more grateful for my voice – to be able to talk to my loved ones, to be able to sing my favorite songs, to be able to speak the spoken word things I’ve written.

Just finished drinking boiled OJ + honey for the second time today. Don’t knock it until you try it – a friend of mine from college suggested it to me when I lost my voice one time in school, and it truly did help me gain my voice back. Only, I’m almost out of OJ. So, to drinking green tea it is!

#MishyWrites 🦋✨

Changes…in Blogging/Writing?

So, clearly it has been a minute since I’ve blogged. The past several days have been crazy, and last night it culminated into me being extremely tired and just needing sleep.

And during those past several days, I’ve been wondering if I should change the way I blog to you all. I’ve been seeing the way some of my favorite bloggers blog – writing a post or two here and there, maybe once or twice a week, and their content is so relevant and real and truthful, and I’m sitting here wondering if the way I’m blogging is just too much for me, and isn’t the best way to blog.

A little over a year ago, I challenged myself to blog every day, forcing myself to write every day so that I could get better at writing. And granted, I’ve missed a good amount of days throughout, but overall, I’ve blogged so much more overall in the past year than I have in the past maybe four or five years since I’ve started blogging.

But I’m wondering if me just trying to rush a post out to you every day is really doing anything. Is it really giving you the best of me as a writer? Am I just getting sloppy in the writing I’ve done / am doing? Am I only giving half of myself over to you as I try to work on other writing projects I have, and if so, is that fair to you? Is it fair to me?

I’ve been wrestling with these thoughts, and here are some conclusions I’ve come up with…

It’s My Fault

The way I feel about blogging every day right now – like it’s rushed, like the content I’m putting out isn’t enough, like I’m boring you guys with insignificant details in my life – it’s all my fault really. Truly, if I could just prioritize the things in my life correctly, maybe blogging things won’t be so hard or painful for me sometimes. Not that there won’t be days in which I sit at my computer and think, “Dude…I have nothing to write about, what am I going to write about??” But I feel like less of that would come with better planning on my part.

Yet what do I do? I don’t plan. I work and write I feel on a whim, and I sometimes feel like it’s all rushed. Maybe I work well under pressure. Who am I kidding, I say that, but while I’m working like that, I’m stressed as all get out!

So, as always, some priorities need to be shifted. I write this, yet will I actually shift anything? Hopefully. Someone keep me accountable, please, I beg.

A Break

Blogging to you guys only two or three times a week would be an amazing break for me, honestly. It would give me more time during the day to do other things I need to do. It would give you guys an expectation of when the blogs will be coming out and when they wouldn’t (because right now, y’all may be expecting a blog post every day, and clearly that isn’t happening).

Better Content

Only blogging a few times a week would give me the chance to write better content for you guys, I think. Especially when it comes to deeper subjects – I can’t even tell you how many things I want to write to you all about, yet I feel like I can’t just crank it out in an hour or however long I have in my day to blog. Maybe I just need to do it to challenge myself. I just feel like I want to make sure what I’m writing to you all is understandable, and reflects my thoughts and opinions as best as it can.

And when I’m trying to write a blog every day, I feel like it isn’t my best sometimes; I feel like I’m just throwing some words out there for you all so I can say, “Yes, I blogged today! Another day in a row that I’ve done this!” I don’t want this to become a checklist thing, or a thing that I dread doing; I want to do it so that my writing and communication is growing and being challenged.

#JustStartWriting

Truly, the whole blogging every day thing was based on #JustStartWriting, which is now it’s own thing – it has its own website, and still has the same meaning and motto, it’s just now out there for more writers to be a part of. It’s no longer a solo thing of mine that I do.

However, this is where my thoughts on actually just posting whenever I have “good content” stop. Because when I look back on the year I’ve had with my writing, #JustStartWriting really shaped my writing – it got me actually writing instead of just wishing I was writing. It challenged me to really think about my day, and pay attention to what was happening in my life so that later, I could write about it. Just because #JSW is now it’s own separate thing, it doesn’t give me permission to drop the way I personally write.

Why am I going to have a separate site based in just starting to write to get past the fear, the laziness, the whatever else to write if I’m not willing to do that myself? Granted, I could “just start write” in my journal, or you know, on this book I’ve been wanting to write.

But I think blogging is just in my blood; like I feel so weird skipping out on writing here (except Sundays, that’s a given). I honestly think it’s because of gotten busy and lazy. Busier with trying to keep up with the new sites I’ve got, and also trying to work on and release spoken word poems I’ve been writing. More lazy in the fact that there are times in which I could blog, and I just don’t feel the draw, or I don’t feel like I have something good enough to write about. Also lazy in the fact that I haven’t been paying that much attention to my surroundings as much as I used to. I feel like my days run like clockwork, and I don’t take the time to really take in what’s happening. Therefore, my writing is lacking.

 

All this to say – I’m still going to try my best to blog every day. I won’t succeed all the time, obviously, but I still want this to be a priority of mine. I want it to still be an important part of my writing journey. And if I’m encouraging other writers out there to just start writing – to not let the fear of their writing not being good enough, the laziness of only dreaming of writing and being great at it, or the other worries or excuses that conjure up in their mind keep them from writing – then I need to keep on writing as best as I can.

So, no changes in the vision. Changes in the execution of the vision, however, are in the process of being made. Stay tuned – I’m going to try to do this better than I have been.

#MishyWrites 🦋✨

“Good Vibes Only.”

I know that the title of this post is something we all probably see smacked onto cups, shirts, bags, etc. But I've honestly been needing good vibes after a couple of weeks of the things I've seen and heard.

I'm not here to point fingers or call out names, I'm here to just address the fact that the negativity has reached its peek for me, and I'm tired of having it around. I've read way too much bashing, and not enough kind comments. People are constantly talking about one another – one person will talk about someone, and then go to someone else to talk about the person they just talked to.

It's honestly all drained me, and made me think about a lot of things within this realm…

Me

All the negativity has me looking inward. I know I'm not perfect; as positive and encouraging as I am to the outside world most of the time, I have my moments, trust me. And I'm not proud of those moments in which I indulge in gossip, or eagerly await to hear the rumors about someone else. I'm not happy to say that I've sat in silence, and just listened to all of the negative discussions, instead of speaking up and addressing the fact that maybe things shouldn't be said or talked about.

I've realized it's not enough to be silent, and just stand around while the people around me are talking negatively. Because I'm still listening to the negativity; it gets into my mind, and before I know it, I'm thinking, saying, and doing the things I didn't want to think, say, or do. And because it affects me, if I continue it, it will affect those around me.

Honestly, a lot of the negativity I had been seeing was on social media, and I started to drift away from checking my socials often because I realized how much I was being affected by all of it. It's another reason why I stopped going on social media on Sundays – to have a day away from checking up on everyone else's lives, and potentially feeding off of and into the negativity I was seeing.

Pick a Side

I was seeing a lot of people who follow me and even each other talk badly about one another, and it made me so uncomfortable because we're all supposed to be on the same team. There shouldn't be an "us vs. them" or "me vs. her or him" mentality; we are all human, we are all wanting to get somewhere in life, and we are all connected to each other somehow, maybe by interest or people or location.

All of the negative talk also put me in this terrible position – I felt like I had to take a side. I either had to agree that "yes, this person was being this way," or "no, I don't think this person is like that," and this sort of dilemma is why I simply stayed silent. But again, even in silence, what I was hearing/seeing/reading was still affecting me. I began to take what some people said as gospel instead of questioning what was being said with questions such as:

Was what was being said true?
Was this person in a specific type of situation for them to act in the way being portrayed by the speaker?
How would this person feel if they were to hear what was being said about them?

the way in which I viewed the people being talked about, or the people doing the talking.

I Love You…I Love You Not…

By listening to and participating in the negative talking about others, or to others, my perspective of people began to be tainted by all of the things being said, and overall, it was affecting the way I loved on people, despite those things. And it's unfortunate because the things being said may not have been true, yet I used them as a measurement on whether I showed someone love or not.

 

Now, this isn't to say that I've totally blocked people, and have deemed them all horrible human beings for smack-talking each other. I am including myself as a person who smack-talks, and I say it with shame.

But I do want to address it because I'm tired of all of the negativity. Everyone says, posts, and supports "Good Vibes Only," but are we actually willing to be a part of what that actually means?

It means we love each other the best we can without trying to stir the pot (even though it may be fun sometimes. I didn't say spreading around negativity was boring; it happens for a reason). It means instead of tearing each other down, we're building each other up, encouraging each other in the things we're each pursuing, and embracing the differences we each have, because not one person is the same. Sure, there may be some similarities in some things, but each person is a unique human being who needs to be treated with some respect.

I'm not saying throw out some fake love; don't say or do anything that you don't genuinely mean. But it does mean that, if you have the opportunity to bash someone else, you choose not to do so. Maybe instead of staying silent while someone you know or sort of know is being talked about, you stand up for that person, and ask the speaker some hard questions about what is being said. I'm not saying throw hate on the speaker either; I'm saying, ask questions that will make them think about what they're saying.

It's hard and I know it is, because I have a hard time choosing the high road of not spreading the negativity.

But I just encourage myself and all of us to seriously spread the good vibes – be a positive light in the conversations you have. If you're tempted to talk bad about someone, think of one good thing about that person instead, and genuinely mean it.

Think about what you're saying before you say it.

Place yourself in the shoes of the person you're wanting to talk about – how would you feel if the things you were about to say were said about you? A lot of this just goes back to the major "Golden Rule" – "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

So yeah, that was just something that's been weighing on my heart lately, and I hope that my thoughts were able to make you think about where you are within the realm of good vibes and negative talk. We've all done it at some point, and we can't change that. What we can change is our reaction the next time the opportunity to speak negatively presents itself.

#MishyWrites #TruthPrevails 🦋✨

 

Living the Dream.

Yesterday before I left my dad’s hotel room, he asked our family a question – if we could do anything as a job for the rest of our lives, what would it be? And it was cool to share with them the dreams that I’m currently working towards.

6.5

That’s the amount of weeks I have left until everything drops. I’ve been debating on when I should tell people, if it’s a good idea to go ahead and scream the date out, or if it’s too early in advance for people to know because they may just forget about it.

But hey, I guess it doesn’t hurt to actually say it. Maybe it’ll keep me accountable for getting everything I need to get done accomplished.

June 21st.

June 21st – Why This Date?

Because it’s the first day of summer, my favorite season. Because I feel like it gives me enough time to get my things in order website-wise, and also writing/spoken word wise. I’m planning some great things, and I’m praying that they all work out, and that I’ll be able to continue to provide some content for everything, and get a dream of mine that I’ve had for months now up and running.

But Wait, What are Your Dreams?

I dream about a lot of things – traveling, writing for a living, publishing a book, speaking my words in front of a live audience, doing a book signing. And for what? To reach who?

To just speak to people in general who have gone through the same things I’ve gone through, or feel the same things I’ve felt. To acknowledge the difficulty in life, but also acknowledge the beauty in it. To point back to my Heavenly Father Who is over all things, and Who deserves all the glory, honor, and praise. To wrap my arms metaphorically and even literally around young women, and remind them that they are special beings to behold; that they may feel inadequate at times, but they are truly treasures. To tell them that they aren’t their past, and they are capable of so much more than they realize.

I truly believe that in the past couple of months, God has been pulling on my heart about my writing, the gift He has so graciously given to me. Previously, I’d been writing things with the same amount of emotion and passion, but I was afraid to really break out and try new things for fear that I wasn’t good at them; for fear that people wouldn’t like the way that I was trying to communicate.

But then I did it, and thanks to Silas Doss, who was so willing to help me speak the words I’d been writing, I have just felt this rush of passion, and it’s opened my eyes to what I feel like I should be working towards. And ever since then, the Lord has been opening doors of opportunity, and it has been a beautiful thing to see and to live. And thanks to family and friends who I’ve been discussing these dreams with, I haven’t given up on pursuing them yet! It helps to have the support of these people in my life.

Now, this doesn’t mean that I’m 100% sure that what I’m working towards is going to work out. Who knows, maybe the Lord will pull me in a different direction as I’m going through this entire process. But as of now, I am moving forward. I am answering the call, and still bowing in humility because I don’t want to misstep anywhere, and go where God doesn’t want me.

 

I won’t release details of what I’m working on just yet…maybe I’ll wait a couple more weeks to unfold it all. But I think it just hit me last night as I was answering my dad’s question about doing a dream job forever, something I love – I think it was just cool to acknowledge aloud that I am currently working towards that; that my dream didn’t feel like a distant idea that was unattainable.

It felt real. And it is real.

#JustStartWriting

💙 Mishy 🦋