déjà vu.

It’s crazy how I was just talking to my boyfriend about blogging again, and how I longed to get it back to an every day activity like I used to, but that I wasn’t going to force it. He agreed, and said that I should just let it flow, let the words come to me, and eventually, I’ll get back to doing it every day. I’d already planned on doing a blog post today, even started writing it, but now it has to be drafted because I’ve got something else to share today! Lately, while I’ve felt the message behind my weekly blogs, I haven’t felt the passion like I do with this post. I hope you enjoy it. 💙

As I ran, I felt it. Felt the familiarity of the situation coming back to me, as if I’d lived this scene of my life before. And in a way, I had…only, I’d been alone, riding a bike, and this time, I had Patches (my dog) in tow, hoping we could keep up with each other until we reached our goal.

After a day of rain, Patches seemed a little stir crazy, and thankfully, as I sat on the couch contemplating on what to do with the rest of my day, the sun came out, and I decided when I took Patches out to pee that instead, I’d make it a whole adventure for us. I grabbed my keys, locked the apartment, and we headed onto the walking trail towards the dog park near the end of the complex.

Honestly, it was more of a frustrating walk than a relaxing one; because Patches was so excited to be back outside, he was tugging the leash so he could smell every little blade of grass, rock, or stick that he hadn’t seen in the day he’d missed out on a walk. I was pretty annoyed, but eager for him to be free of his leash when we reached the little park so he could roam around.

Once at the park, I let him sniff around, I got up from the bench I was sitting on and ran around so he could get some more energy out (I don’t have a ball for him to chase, so instead, he chased me). After maybe 5-10 minutes, I figured it was time to go. I felt so accomplished as a dog mom; I’d given him a good walk here, some good play time, and then we’d have a nice walk back without the leash-pulling, just as a giant gray cloud was beginning to hover over our neighborhood.

It seemed like we reached home quickly, so I grabbed my keys, and…

No keys.

I panicked a little bit, wondering if I dropped them somewhere along the walking trail, but knowing in my heart that they’d fallen out of my pocket at the dog park when I was running around with Patches. We speed-walked all the way back to the park, and I felt the small drops of rain hitting us as soon as we got there.

My keys were in the middle of the grass at the park, and I snatched them up, praying that as we walked back, the rain would hold off.

But it only rained harder.

Thankfully, our complex has little portions where the staircases are, and I brought Patches and myself under one just as the rain started to get even heavier than before. I wanted us to wait until the rain subsided, but knew that that could take longer than just a few minutes. So instead, I noticed that we’d be able to cut across through one of the little stairways to shorten our walk, but after that, we just had to take the rest of the trail home.

And so we ran. Through the rain, we ran.

As I finished cursing myself for being such a human for dropping my keys, and even being upset about the rain, I realized that a moment almost just like this 5 years ago was beautiful to me…

Five years ago, I was living on Tybee Island with my parents after just graduating from college. On the official last day of summer, I took myself on a date: I rode my favorite bike three miles to my favorite sushi spot on the island, had dinner, and took my mango boba tea to-go. The ride back was a little darker than expected, but I knew the sun was setting earlier since fall would arrive tomorrow. And as I neared my neighborhood, the skies opened up. The rain fell so heavily on me, but I was at such peace with myself and with the experience of that moment in my life, getting to celebrate the last day of my favorite season, that I couldn’t help but smile about it.

God had sent the rain, and He’d washed me clean of my worries of wanting that day to be “perfect.” It was beautiful.

And as I presently ran in the rain with Patches by my side, I thought, This is beautiful too. It wasn’t the most convenient thing, but I’m tearing up thinking about how five years ago, it was just me, God, and my bike. Today, it was me, God, and Patches (who was a total trooper, by the way). And we arrived home, Patches shook as much rain from his fur as he could, and I thought, Such deja vu.

Honestly, before today, I only loved the rain for one reason, and that was because my boyfriend loves it. We get to stay in and cuddle and watch movies on rainy days, so if it was ever raining at any other time (work, running errands, a social event, etc.), then I’d get annoyed.

But having a day like today happen twice for me? The rain means so much more now. It’s not a coincidence that God allowed this moment to happen again for me, and so close to the same day as well. This weekend will be the last official weekend of summer, and I was just thinking about how I wanted to do something special, but I might not get to since it just might rain.

Well, I say, let it pour.

Because if there’s one thing God showed me today, it’s that even in the moments when we fail, He’s still with us, and He’s still able to give us peace and joy.

Thank You, Jesus.

And yes, I’m tearing up now. 🥲

Mishy 🦋🖤