intentions.

It’s June 1st, which means for me, a new color for the month (even though I’m a little behind on the #BrownSkinGirlProject, it doesn’t hurt to have a few more brown girls on my feed, especially in the times we’re in right now).

Today wasn’t just a change of color for my social media though; it was a change of color in my spirit. With everything going on in the world, we all still each have our own personal battles we deal with, and honestly, mine have been pretty heavy and consistent. You may think, What? You don’t seem like it… but it’s true. I may not portray on social media my internal struggles, but I still have them.

And as I cleaned my entire apartment (I’m talking…from bathroom to bedroom, the bed sheets and kitchen towels, the counters and inside the fridge…DEEP CLEANING), my spirit just kept bringing up this word and phrase: “intentions”, “set your intentions.”

Now, of course, we all have goals and plans, and of course, many of those goals and plans went straight out the window from March to even now. We’re entering the second half of 2020, and there are a lot of unknowns still. A lot of heartbreak. A lot of changes and movements happening. And underneath this all is an overarching theme of healing…we’re all still trying to heal from things, whether it’s COVID-19 related, racism related, or something else personal going on in your life.

I looked up the definition of “intention,” and Oxford Languages via Google not only gave the “aim” or “plan” definition, it also provided this one:

“the healing process of a wound”

How ironic is that? Or maybe it’s not ironic at all; the Holy Spirit set that word on my heart for a reason or two. And I aim to write down every intention I have for this last half of the year, and to pray on each one and work towards those things coming into fruition, and healing after so much negativity, pain, and hurt.

I refuse to settle in this place I’ve been in.

Last month as I was mentally preparing for June, I was thinking about what words were brought to mind when the color yellow is seen. Of course, we think of the obvious ones: bright, joyful, exciting, inspiring, bold, confident. And now, the word I have for yellow is intention. The beautiful thing about this is that this isn’t just another project or set of posts for my feed, but it’s something personal I’m setting my mind to doing; I’m actively choosing to engage in this healing process of the wounds I’ve been digging my fingers in for way too long.

As my sis Cydney would say, I was manifesting my own downfall. And today, it’s time for that to end in ALL AREAS of my life.

Today, I cleaned my room. I prayed for God to clean my spirit. I cleaned my mind. I am abounding in my intentions.

What are some intentions that you have set for the last half of 2020? How are you healing with everything going on in our world? What steps can you take in your healing process?

Mishy 🦋💛

meet pops. 🌿

Story time!

It’s been a minute since I’ve told a story on here, so I’m excited that I get to indulge y’all in something different!

If you follow me on Instagram, you’ll know that I posted a picture of this little guy on my story this past week, asking who wanted to hear a story about him…

I also asked my followers what I should name him, and after only several good name choices were offered (Xavier, Edward, Jeffrey, Pops) I decided to go with “Pops” because of what this plant has gone through. And here’s where I’ll explain…

it looks like the end…

One night, my boyfriend closed my porch door. Normally, Pops is on the complete opposite side of where the door shuts so that he isn’t in danger of getting shut by the door.

So, you see what happened then…

Yes, my boyfriend accidentally shut him in the door, causing many of his little leaves to come off, and the top half of one of his branches completely came off. I felt many emotions…sad, upset, frustrated. I had watched this little succulent grow in over a year after my stepdad gave him to me for Valentine’s Day 2019. He was the only plant that I kept alive since Reyna and Tula 1.0 were unfortunately not taken care of properly last summer. And suddenly, he’d been crushed because, as my boyfriend put it, “He got up and walked toward the door without him seeing.” 😭

I honestly felt like Pops was going to die after that, and I was so sad about it (this was before I got my hibiscus plants, Reyna and Tula 2.0). I loved watching him gain new leaves, and I eventually wanted to repot him this summer.

pop go the new leaves

You read it right!

After several days of continuing to water Pops and give him as much sun as he needed, I took a good look at him, and noticed that there were little new leaves popping up where the old leaves had been (I guess those old leaves were dead).

I couldn’t have been happier! I’m really glad I didn’t throw him away when he got crushed, because now I get to see the new growth happening first hand! 😍🌱

let’s talk about us

As I thought about Pops’ story, I thought about us as people. There are a lot of things in life that can and will crush us at some point, and in those moments, we have choices to make. We can either throw all the potential we have stored within ourselves away, and give into what crushed us, or we can choose to try to keep growing and striving toward moving past it.

Of course, I encourage us to do the latter; we are so much more capable of healing if we give ourselves time. But too often, if we don’t heal in the time we desire, we can tend to give up, or try to take shortcuts to healing by just pretending everything is okay.

A plant may be able to pretend things are okay by looking okay for a small period of time. But then what happens? One day, it starts to droop, or it loses leaves, visibly showing that it’s not okay, that it needs water, sunlight, or fertilizer. And the same goes with us as people!

Pops was a great reminder for me to keep going, even when I’m being crushed by a heavy emotion or event in my life. He also is a great reminder to keep taking care of myself with whatever I may need spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically. And I hope you’re reminded of this as well!

What’s something in your life that’s been a great reminder? It can be a plant, an animal, a game, an event, etc. What was the lesson it reminded you of? Did it change the way you view yourself or others?

Mishy 🦋🤎

surrender.

I just had to surrender.

Sometimes, when I want to create something new, be it a poem or full on project, I get frustrated when it doesn’t come to me quickly. I try to think of new ways to do things, try to look things up, brainstorm, and nothing will come.

But there’s something about that moment of surrender…

When you just roll with the punches, when you just go on about your day, doing the things you had in mind to do, or letting the day unfold before you; I find that it’s in THOSE times…an idea is formed. I truly believe my best ideas are God sent, and I believe He won’t send them until I surrender the process to Him. Because if I try hard to think of something, and end up with a plan, more than likely, I’ll pat myself on the back for it than give God the credit.

So I’m grateful for the times He reminds me to just let Him work. To just keep my hands open to receive what He has for me.

I did a lot of letting go this morning as I started my day, and I feel like it made my day go 10x’s smoother than when I’ve just got a closed fist over everything. Keeping my hand shut tight gives me the illusion of control, when in reality, it only hinders me from opening my eyes and heart to the things around me, to other things I haven’t thought of.

I encourage you: surrender. Wherever you are and whatever you’ve got going on, open up that hand of yours. Release any sense of control you think you have or should have, and ask God to open your eyes.

I believe that what He reveals to you will be more beautiful, more extravagant than you can imagine!

How hard is it for you to surrender? What are some things you might need to let go of to make room for God to show you something new?

Mishy 🦋🤍

good friday.

Many around the world are acknowledging today as a couple of different things. One is National Siblings Day, which is important. I have two sisters whom I love very much, and am seriously proud of the growth that they’ve made in each of their lives. 💜💛 I know that God has planned some major things for them, and I cannot wait to see them completely bloom into their passions!

Today is also (most importantly) Good Friday. The day in which Jesus took on the sins of the world, past, present, and future, by dying on the Cross. I’ve seen posts already on social media discussing the irony of today’s name being “good” Friday, when back then, those who followed Jesus probably saw anything but good in what was happening to Him. We call it “good” now because we know the end result: we know that 3 days later, we will celebrate Easter, the day He rose from the dead.

And I can’t help but stop and think how many times in my Christian walk have I thought, Man, God is good. Obviously, I’ve said and thought this during easy times, or when blessings come. But do I also think this when the trials come? When I can’t seem to see any good outcomes coming from what I’m going through? Can (and do) I still say that He’s good? Can/do I still believe that to be true?

Honestly, in my Christian walk, it’s hard to feel and understand that Jesus is right here where I am, whether I’m in a good or bad situation. It’s sometimes hard to grasp the beauty of the day He gave His life when it was so long ago. But to see how much it has transformed my life, and the lives of people I love, and have witnessed live for Jesus, understanding and feeling it doesn’t seem all that difficult anymore. Jesus is there to guide me, so long as I ask, and obey Him.

Easter is filled with what most holidays are filled with – traditions. In both the church and secularly. Some do Easter baskets, egg hunts, wearing their special Easter dresses and suits, having brunch or cookouts. In some church denominations, they’ve been celebrating or acknowledging the Easter season through different days, colors, hymnals, etc. And while traditions can be fun, or can help us remember the importance of Good Friday, may we not drown the Truth in such things so much so that we don’t remember this simple and wonderful fact:

Jesus took our place on the cross. We, as sinful humans, were meant to pay the price for what we have done/would do. And because of His Great Love for us, He died in our place. And now, we can have a relationship with Him because He opened that door with His death and resurrection.

I don’t want to write this post and fling it out onto the Internet like it’s nothing; this day is SO important. Because the gift that came from Jesus’ death that occurred so many years ago today is available to EVERY SINGLE PERSON, so long as they believe in Him, His Sacrifice, and His Resurrection. So long as they let go of any plans they have for their own lives, and are willing to pick up their own crosses and follow Him wherever He leads. So long as they dedicate their lives to living like He did as best as we can in our sinful flesh.

Some of you may know these things, and others may not. For those who are familiar, please take time today to sit and ponder the basis of which are faith is in. And to those who are not familiar, and may even have questions, please don’t hesitate to ask in the comments, or by using my Contact form on my blog here. I’m not saying that I have the answers to every single thing the Bible teaches, but I do have the faith to know that God can speak to you wherever you are, and can give you salvation eternally. It doesn’t mean your life will be easy, but you can learn to hold onto His Peace during hard times. The things in our culture and our world that you used to care so much about won’t matter anymore once you accept His Gift. So please, if you’re wondering or have questions, do not be afraid; speak up.

How are you observing Good Friday today? What is something you can go to God in prayer and praise for, not just today, but from here on out?

Mishy 🦋 ❤️✝️

natural.

Embrace your most natural form right now.

Wow, I feel like I have a lot of thoughts going through my mind these days, which means I potentially have a lot of things I could write about! That’s a nice feeling 😄 I honest felt like maybe I’d lost my sense or skill of writing to be able to blog every day again. Praise God for allowing these thoughts into my brain! 🙌🏽

Anyways, back to what I was saying…

Embrace your most natural form right now.

When people talk about natural vs. getting all dolled up with makeup and lashes, the conversation can turn sour pretty quickly. It’s like talking about women and their clothing options — Woman A will say she feels beautiful not wearing crop tops, and then Woman B will get offended and point out that women who do wear crop tops aren’t ugly, and Woman A shouldn’t have said what she said…even though Woman A wasn’t saying at all that women who do wear crop tops are ugly. You get what I’m saying? People are too quick to start arguments over things like this.

I say all that to say: when I’m talking about being your most natural form, I’m not saying that people who wear makeup or lashes are “doing too much,” or “aren’t beautiful.” So, just get that out of your brains now, please. I won’t argue with anyone in any comments about this post.

What I am saying is that while most of us are stuck at home with nothing to do, let’s give our bodies time to breathe. And when I mean that, I mean skin, nails, hair, anything that you normally enhance. I know you’ve seen all the memes about people who normally get these things done and how they’re feeling right now since all the hair/waxing/nail salons are closed for the time being…

And while they’re funny and true, I think we can all do with our bodies taking breaks from those things for a couple of weeks (or however long this will take). Again, this isn’t to say that it’s wrong for people to get their eyebrows waxed or their nails done (I’d like to have my nails done myself), but it’s just an observation that this is a time for our bodies to do their natural thing and breathe.

I challenge you to take the time to look at yourself in the mirror sans (without) makeup. Look at your hands and feet without nails. Have a gander at those eyebrows filling in, if you don’t tweeze them yourself, and really bask in the beauty that is in your natural state. Point out what you love about yourself without all the enhancements, and maybe make it a point to go without a certain thing even when all this stuff is over.

I know I’m ready to take these braids down. As much as I’ve loved not having to deal with my natural hair for a while, and getting to see what I’d look like with a different hair color, I’m ready to put my fingers through my own, natural hair again.

Mishy 🦋🤍

daylight.

I’m in desperate need of the sun.

And thankfully, God allowed it to come out this afternoon at work for a little bit so I could bask in it. Because we’ve been drenched in rain for maybe a little over a month now 😫 And we are now less than a week away from one of my favorite times of the year: Daylight Savings Time!

Booooo, Less Sleep

To those who are upset about losing the hour of sleep…part of me truly doubts that you even realize you’ve lost it. Everyone and their sleep cycles are different, so maybe I shouldn’t deny other’s experiences.

HOWEVER, consider the fact that the sun will set later…as in, IT WON’T BE DARK BY 4PM ANYMORE. PRODUCTIVITY WILL INCREASE. WE’LL ACTUALLY GET TO FEEL LIKE WE’VE LIVED FULL DAYS. THAT SUN WILL BE OUT UNTIL 9PM, AND THEN YOU CAN GO TO SLEEP, A FULL DAY HAVING BEEN LIVED OUT AND WORKED ON!

Y’all may not understand, but THIS is the time when my vibe just changes! I really tried this past fall/winter not to be so down because I’ve realized that those seasons are typically when I get more frustrated, sad, irritated, unproductive, unmotivated, *insert any other negative emotion in this list*. And compared to the falls and winters of the past, I’ll give a pat on my back and an applause for improving a little bit this time around.

But spring, and especially SUMMER…those are my seasons! I’m almost convinced I truly have seasonal depression, although it hasn’t been officially diagnosed.

I cannot wait to leave work in the evening, and still feel like I’ve got a lot of time to accomplish what I need to do. I can’t wait to leave the gym at 8 o’clock and drive on the freeway while or a little before the sun is setting. I can’t wait to have my weekends to run around until 10pm because we just have that much daylight.

On the Flip Side…

Okay, so maybe I can make an argument for the other side. Maybe it isn’t just about that extra hour of sleep…

There might be people out there who are more productive in those seasons because now they’re able to focus more on what they have to do instead of being super social or outgoing or adventurous like they are in the spring/summer. Instead, they can hibernate all fall/winter, not really go out as much, and have tunnel vision on the goals and visions they’ve set to accomplish before the year is over and a new one begins.

Maybe these people have sensitive skin, so being out in the sun isn’t the greatest, and they don’t get to be out and about in the spring and summer when the sun is out basically all day. There could be some valid reasons why the other option is good as well, and I’m willing to admit this.

Everyone has their season(s) when they feel most like themselves, and whichever one that is for you, I hope you bask in it! I hope you flourish, and find yourself in a better position this time around than the last time you were in that particular season! 🙌🏽

Sunday, March 8, I am READY for you! I hope y’all are just as ready as me, because it’s COMING! ☀️

Which way do you prefer the time? Daylight Savings (spring/summer) or none (fall/winter)? Which season do you find yourself being more productive in? How are you going to adjust to the time change? Which season(s) do you flourish in?

Mishy 🦋💚

imbalance.

Ahh yes, I knew it would come…the day I would forget/just not blog. But I’m back! You can’t get rid of me so easily this time around!

Honestly, I tried to think of a topic yesterday, but I couldn’t. And then I remembered that this isn’t about finding topics to write about, but just about writing just to write. Some days there’ll be a serious topic, other days, it’s me just writing. 🤷🏽‍♀️ You’ll never know what you get til you click the link!

Plus, you guys get to read my thoughts on things, and even keep up with how I’m doing. Because I truly don’t see many people like that anymore due to trying to balance out being busy, still maintaining somewhat of a social life, and resting when I need to. And yesterday was a perfect example.

As I reflect on a day like yesterday, I truly don’t know how I did what I used to do back when I became an official adult. I’d work, I’d attempt to workout (somewhat), I’d cook, I’d schedule hang out times with friends and rarely have time to myself because I didn’t like to be alone or be in the house for a huge amount of time. I loved being out and about and on-the-go 95% of the time, that is, until my body finally had had enough, and shut down on me one Saturday afternoon in the middle of me hanging out with a friend, and she had to bring me home, and I just slept for hours after that.

Today though, you can catch me in the same 3 places most days out of the week – work, the gym, and my apartment. It’s pretty rare that I go out anymore on weeknights mostly because I work sort of late, and then once I’m out of the gym it’s already 8pm, and I get up at 5am every weekday so you tell me how much time I have left to do what I need to do, and get a somewhat good amount of sleep before I have to do it all over again the next day. 👀

The only time I’m out during the week is:

  1. Tuesdays because that’s sister date night with my sister
  2. If I’ve scheduled in advance a hangout/dinner with a friend
  3. An event to network/enjoy myself/support a friend
  4. Practicing for an event

I say ALL of that to basically say: balancing is hard. Having to say “yes” and “no” to certain things is hard. And I find that once I figure out a good balance in my schedule and routine, something else gets thrown in the mix for me to stay on my toes and keep balancing.

It can be hard (for me, personally) not to complain when things don’t go as planned or “on schedule,” or they don’t stay in routine. It’s good to keep the balancing muscle working; otherwise, life would be the same ole, same ole, and we’d be bored out of our minds, and longing for new, exciting things.

So when a day (more like afternoon) like yesterday happens and I’m jumping from one thing to the next (work, working out, shower, basketball game, drop sissy off) without any sort of breathing room, and then finally landing in my apartment later than I’d expected, and then getting to bed later than I wanted to, and then I realize I never posted a blog because I spent that time talking to coworkers at work, and just bonding with them…

…I really have to sit back, and just be grateful for the time I had, and embrace the “imbalance” of my routine. Sure, I may be a little more tired today (pass the coffee please 🥴☕️) and I didn’t blog yesterday, but I did so much and had so much fun doing it. I got to see and talk to people I love and care about. I was still able to get a workout in when I normally skip on Tuesdays. I got to see a good friend play basketball, and his team win another game 🙌🏽

There can be beauty in the imbalance of things, in the rushing from place to place, and unplanned conversations. You can go to bed knowing you lived a full day of your life, grateful and blessed by all you did and experienced!

What are your initial reactions to your schedule/routine not going as planned? Do you feel rushed, agitated, frustrated? What beautiful things can you see and feel in the imbalanced moments of your life?

Mishy 🦋

Behind the Words: “Cookie”

What do you find most attractive about yourself?

For the sake of this blog post, I’m asking the above question specifically about a physical part of yourself that you’re attracted to.

Why the emphasis on physicality? you may ask. Mishy, we’re already hounded by everyone about how we look – by ourselves, social media, our friends and family, the people at our schools and jobs…WHY would you try to make this post about HOW. WE. LOOK?

Because how you physically look doesn’t matter…but it does.

why physical appearance doesn’t matter…

Your physical appearance doesn’t (and shouldn’t) matter when it comes to how people treat you. Each and every person should be treated with genuine kindness regardless of what they look like.

Physical appearance also doesn’t/shouldn’t matter when getting a job or obtaining support for your craft. I was talking with my friend Jas (one-half of the music group KidzinaKorner) about this earlier this week when she pointed out that people who are more physically or aesthetically pleasing but not as talented will get more support, recognition, and love than someone who is super talented, but not as physically/aesthetically pleasing.

And GUYS. I don’t know about you, but that sucks. You know what it makes me feel like sometimes? It makes me feel like my poetry, my motivational videos, my blog, any of my creative work really, won’t be taken seriously enough unless I post videos of me twerking, or pictures of me looking all sexy with my butt cheeks hanging out, or if my face isn’t all done up, you get what I mean.

This isn’t to bash anyone who does post those aspects about themselves, but I know myself, my brand, what I stand for, and those things do not fit the bill. And I refuse to post those things just to get more followers, views, support, clout. Because then it wouldn’t be authentic; it’d just be an insecure move on my part to gain some sort of earthly success that, in the long run, doesn’t matter.

why physical appearance does matter…

With that rant over, I will say that your physical appearance does matter because it is a part of you! It’s one piece the Lord created you with to add to your unique, complex person, and it matters because you matter! And you should love what you have been given in this aspect, and take care of it.

That being said, everyone’s physical appearance matters, no matter what they look like – skin color, hair type, body shape, bare/made up face, piercings and tattoos, etc. And whatever someone looks like, we should embrace them for who they are, and not just define who they are by how they look. Because again – it’s just a PIECE of who that person is.

let me take a selfie…

{No, I definitely don’t miss that song, in case you were wondering.}

This week, I decided to have a little self-portrait session because it had been a while since the last time I did so. Of course, I thought about my color-theme for my Instagram, and how I could incorporate it, and what I could wear/how I could pose that was different from the things I’d worn, and poses I’d done before.

I decided on a head wrap, since I’d never attempted it before, and I also wanted to show as much of my brown skin as possible from the neckline up. And as I took the pictures, I will admit that I wasn’t thinking much about what I’m about to write to you now. But all the thoughts came as I was editing the photos, and planning what I was going to post and the meaning behind it all.

***You can find a couple of these self-portraits on my Instagram: @mishywrites

there is a RIGHT WAY to answer this question…

If I were to ask myself the question I asked you at the beginning of this post, I would answer that my hair is the most attractive part of me. And as I thought about the reasoning behind that I realized it was because it’s one of the main things I get complimented on when people see me. It’s also one of the first things that catches a person’s eye about me, probably because it’s so big.

But I answered that question based off of other people’s opinions of what they found to be an attractive part of me. So, I adapted my answer to fit that. But that would mean I didn’t answer the question correctly because it’s about what I think is the most attractive part of myself.

So, when I looked at the photos I took of me, with my hair tucked away in a headwrap, my bare face showing…I realized that there was so much more to me than just my hair. So much more I loved about myself, and was proud and grateful to have. Things I noticed that maybe other people didn’t notice right away (and I mean, can I really blame them, my hair does cover about 25% of me all the time lol), like my skin tone (which, I’d like to say is cookie-colored 😍🍪), my lips, the shape of my face.

healing’s a process.

If you’ve been keeping up with me lately, you will know that I’ve been healing from some self-love/self-esteem issues that had been eating away at me for months. Those negative thoughts not only affected how I viewed myself when I was alone, but it also affected how I viewed myself in my relationships, causing me to question what my friends or my boyfriend truly thought of me.

And I also became discouraged in my creative work, especially since I promote all the time on social media, and seeing so many attractive people succeeding merely for the fact that they were attractive while I was putting in long hours outside of my day-to-day job was disheartening. It made me feel like I wasn’t attractive since I wasn’t succeeding in that way, or making progress in what I wanted to do.

Honestly, I’m currently still doing so much healing because for thoughts like that to affect you so negatively that much for months means that the healing process has to take that same amount of time, and most likely, longer than that. There are moments when I feel like I’ve gotten over it, and then I’ll slip right back into doubting who I am. But it’s all a process, and I believe going through my social media cleanse, and doing this self-portrait session of myself have been just a couple of steps in moving forward from the self-doubt funk I was in.

And of course, writing about it privately, and even being able to share it here on my blog has helped a ton too! I hope my experiences are able to help you if you’ve ever felt like this before.

permission: granted!

So, I ask you again: What do YOU find most attractive about yourself?

And when I ask this question, this is a moment to brag on yourself. Seriously, I feel like people are so timid to say what they think is physically attractive about themselves for fear that they’re coming off as arrogant. But this is a moment for you to be confident, and to truly say what YOU find the most physically attractive about yourself.

Honestly, you don’t even need my permission to be confident in how you look, and who you are!

Go ahead! Say it out loud to yourself in the mirror, reflect on if it’s truly what you think is attractive about yourself, and not just because so many people have complimented you on that particular part of yourself.

Again, this isn’t to say looks are everything, but it’s just a part of who you are, and it allows you to really think on what you really love about yourself!

some answers from IG.

This post is almost over, don’t worry! I feel like this is definitely one of the longest ones I’ve ever written…

I just wanted to add that I asked this question on my Instagram story yesterday, and I got several mixed responses. Some answered with just physical characteristics, while others answered with personality traits and physical traits, but I’m going to share the answers (anonymously) on here so you can be encouraged, and begin to think of what your answers would be!

Two people answered: “My smile”
“My hair and eye color.”
“Physically? My lips. Lol! Otherwise? My tenacity and ability to be vulnerable with strength.”
“Ability to ask creative questions.”
“My inner child; my happiness to integrity and to innocence.”

If you’d like to share your answer in the comments below, please feel free! I’d love to hear what you have to say! 🙂

AND IF YOU’RE WONDERING WHERE THE POEM “COOKIE” IS…it’s on my Instagram page @mishywrites as the caption of the image of the cookie you see at the top of this blog post! I was going to add it onto the end here, but I feel like this post is long enough haha. So, if you’re curious, please go check the poem out as well!

Mishy 🦋

life with Reyna

So, as many of you know if you follow me on Instagram, I recently went to a plant nursery with my boyfriend. But I didn’t go there just to take pictures (or get pictures taken of me lol)…

Yes, I became a plant mom. I did what I’ve always dreamed of doing, and bought a hibiscus plant, my all-time favorite flower.Which, to those who are not plant buyers, is a pretty decent investment. I even bought fertilizer for it because I thought, If I’m gonna do this like I said I would, I’m gonna do it RIGHT.

Here are a couple of facts about my new plant…

*Name: Reyna – I named her this because it means “queen” in Tagalog, the Filipino language (Yes, I’m half Filipino. If you didn’t know, now you know!)
*Favorite Things: Sitting in full sunlight and drinking lots of water
*Thrives on: 60-90 degree weather + this special fertilizer every week.

It’ll be a week tomorrow since I got Reyna, and these days have proved to be so interesting. From the first day, being paranoid that the neighborhood kids would come into our yard, and pick off the pretty flowers Reyna already had bloomed to thinking I might have killed her on the first couple days of being a plant mom after leaving her outside over night, and the temperature dropped 20 degrees (UGH), I have already learned so much as a new plant owner.

Lessons Learned (So Far)…

  1. INVESTMENT. I said this already, but having a plant is an investment. Just like having a pet or a child. Only, a plant is WAY more affordable. Sure, the initial cost of a plant to some people may seem ridiculous. Add the fertilizer, and you’re realizing that you could’ve spent that money on getting your nails done. But all-in-all, you’re only needing 3 things for a plant most of the time: water, sunlight, and fertilizer. Eventually, maybe a bigger pot, but that won’t be for a while.
  2. ATTENTION. Like having a pet or a child, a plant needs attention too. And since this is my favorite flower, I’m realizing I want to do all I can to keep it alive and well. So, I now think of the things I may not have thought of before, like the weather because maybe I could put Reyna outside or not.
  3. YOUR BEST + TRUST. Within all of this, I have definitely worried a little more. Because I didn’t spend a good sum of money for this plant to die within the first week I got it, and I want to be able to learn to cultivate something I love. But I’ve had to really accept that I can only do my best to take care of Reyna, and trust that she will follow through with results from the care I’ve given.

Plant Perfectionist

PAUSE: I know, it may seem sorta weird that I’m referring to my plant as a “she,” and am describing her and the care I’m providing as if she were a child. But if people can do that with their pets, surely I can do this with my plant, okay? Also, I have definitely been obsessed with taking pictures of her growth every day…like, who am I? Who have I become?

Anyways, some of my perfectionist tendencies started to creep back into my life once the high of buying Reyna ended, and it was time to actually take care of her. I got really freaked out the second and third day I had her, because I’d left her outside overnight, not realizing it would be close to freezing outside. The flowers that had been in bloom originally had started to wither away, and I frantically brought her inside to see if the temperature would be warm enough.

Two days passed, and the only change there was was that the flowers had almost closed completely. Literally, this is what the flowers looked like, and I was really disappointed in my carelessness ALREADY…

Later one night, one of the flowers fell off of the plant on its own. I almost cried. And I wrote a poem about it…

“Reyna”

A flower just fell off my plant just now and I
Slightly feel like a failure.
Not even one full week of having her, and I
Can’t seem to take care of her.
The weather isn’t cooperating, she needs
More sun than what she’s getting.
I gave her water, tomorrow I’ll fertilize her, and just
Hope for the best that she doesn’t
Surrender the life she’s got left.
So, this is what it’s like to be in charge of something you love, something you’ve
Made an investment in.
A piece of my heart rests in her petals now, so many of them shut tight, eagerly waiting to bloom when the
Time, climate, and sunlight are just right.
Stay with me, Queen, God will see us through this indecisive weather change where
Winter seems to be coming back to have one more say before
Spring finally settles in and assists all of us in growing as we should.
You and I will survive this.
In His Hands, His care, we are
Good.

This all might sound silly to some of you as you’re reading this, but truly, if this past week has taught me anything, it’s that God cares about what we care about. Because, I won’t lie…there was a day when I watered Reyna, put her in front of my bedroom window for some sunlight, and prayed, Okay, God, I’ve done what I can. I’m leaving the results up to You.

I had some doubts that God would want to actually do anything about Reyna since, seriously, there are so many other things in this world going on that are way more important than the health and life of my newly acquired plant.

And I came home from work to find Reyna like this in my bedroom…

My Reyna B L O O M E D. So much 😭 I literally let out a squeal when I walked in and saw her like this! And it made me think of how Honey, my stepmom, texted me and my sister last week about how she’d lost a diamond from her wedding ring, and she’d been upset, but surrendered the fact that it was missing to the Lord. He’d allowed my dad to find it not too long after! These two events inspired me to write a poem about how God cares about what we care about because His love and mercy towards us are so great!

“He cares.”

God cares about the things we care about.
Even in the little things, like missing rings and fading flowers,
He desires for us to realize we aren’t in control, and to
Surrender the power we think we have back into His Hands.
He is capable of taking impossible things and situations, and
Turning them around for our favor and
His praise. He doesn’t have to satisfy our wants, but sometimes (within His will)
He does it anyway because He loves us
Endlessly.
He revives our weary souls when we’re wilting, He
Feeds us when we’re hungry, even
When we’ve gotten lost due to our own decisions, He
Leads us back to His Heart.
So, the next time you have a concern don’t think, “God doesn’t care about that!
It’s not significant enough to matter.”
Simply calm your worries,
Leave the results in His Hands, and
Understand that, if it’s in His will to do it,
He can and He will fulfill it
Just for you.
For the sake of Love.
Because He cares.

Super grateful for the grace to keep learning how to take care of Reyna, and also reflect on the reminders of God’s care for me as I do so! And to end this post, here’s two more pictures of what Reyna currently looks like. 😍🌺

Yes, those are new flowers that have bloomed!

“A Word to Women” : A Poem

This is the poem I shared last weekend during my event Words with Women, inspired by all the women I know and love in order to encourage each other in the spirit of sisterhood! 💚🌱🌿

“A Word to Women”

Our brokenness seeped into this world through the question of a serpent, who
Caused Eve to doubt the Truth her
Maker spoke over her:
“Did God really say…?”
Since then, we’ve been doubting, we’ve become
Uncertain about who we are, who God called us to be.
Without hesitation, we accept the lies that
Our society convinces us of, that
Just because we don’t look a particular way or
Live our lives the same as some,
We are smaller than others, we
Start to believe that we lack the capacity for
Greatness instead of realizing
It has been placed within us this whole time.
So, just like God asked Adam and Eve how they knew they were naked in the Garden of Eden,
I now ask you, Oh Woman:

Who told you that you were insignificant?
That anything you said or did was irrelevant, or that
Any effort you put forth was inadequate, who
Made you feel like that, luvvy?
The Truth is: who you are, what you say, and what you do are perfect and unique to you,
Every inch of who you are matters.

Who told you your dreams were too big, who
Tried to shatter your vision by
Downplaying the ideas you constructed over the years, the ones you’ve longed to play out, to see through to the end?
These voices are threatened that such brilliance can come from a woman.

Who told you that once you broke after bending so much that there was no hope for you to
Ascend?
Honey, there is no hole too deep where Grace cannot find you, and there is
No place so dark that the Light cannot shine through.
Talitha cumi — Young girl, ARISE.

Please, tell me…
Who told you that the weight of your worth rests in the hands of a man’s opinions, or even
The comparisons you make between yourself and all those Instagrams? Who told you that?
Who told you that the woman you sit next to, the woman you walk past, or the women you follow on social media are your competition?
They are your sisters, but every marketing campaign relies on you taking a
Pair of scissors to this big picture, they say that
Your success depends on their failures so you
Can’t support, can’t compliment, can’t roll in the same groups because
They’ll take all the fame from you, and leave you in the dust.
But, oh women, I’m telling you — we need to stop giving power to pettiness, and start
Learning how to purposefully praise one another, and our hustles and grinds.

Who told you to keep quiet? Who said that
Your silence was more powerful than your voice when the words you speak can do more than just break the glass ceilings, but they
Create waves, they
Echo in the ears of other women who have been where you’ve been, and who
Need that encouragement —
That “me too,” that “yes, sis!”, that leads to one woman asking, “So what are we gonna DO about this?”

The serpent questioned Perfection in Eden, and now we
Doubt the perfection in us.
We look in the mirror sometimes, and can’t dispel the lies we tell ourselves, and that others have uttered and yelled to put us under.
But we cannot begin to change until we
Turn around and question the doubts,
Cease the self-sabotage,
Suffocate the hate of other women, and
Embrace one another for there is
Solidarity in true sisterhood.

We may not get it right every time, but we can continue to try to be mindful of each other, our situations, and not let the
Frustrations of being a woman hinder us from truly
Being a light and letting our fellow sisters shine along with us.

For there is room for all of us here.

#MishyWrites 🦋💚