hesitate.

Did anyone make new years’ resolutions, was super confident going into it…and started getting cold feet?

I told myself that this would be the year I’d revamp my old podcast Motivational Mishy Mondays, especially since I got a new microphone set up for Christmas. But as this weekend came closer, I started getting nervous 😬 Tonight I’m supposed to record my first episode, and I hesitated long enough with setting up my mic. Now I just need to clear off my desk, make sure my laptop or iPad is charged up, and give it a go.

It’s been SO long since I spoke for videos, whether for my Instagram story, or just in general for videos. I did a lot of poetry reading this past fall, but there’s something different about a physical audience and one that isn’t watching you. At least with the physical audience, you’re getting it over with; there’s no second guessing about how you look, what you’re saying, or what you’re doing.

Recording someone for an audience to see later is something totally different. You can edit, rearrange, cut things out. These days I’m finding myself more anxious to record because, knowing my little perfectionism that still exists, I’ll want to start over again and again.

But I know that after I write this blog post, I just need to get up, clean my desk off, set up my laptop, and START. I’ll never know if I just leave all my equipment lying around, or if I continue to hide behind blog posts (yes, even these wonderful words can be a distraction and/or smoke screen).

So, even while I hesitate, I won’t for very long. Pray for me; I just want to be able to reach those who need some encouragement, some motivation, maybe a laugh, or just a sigh of relief. Maybe it’ll be on the podcast, or maybe it’ll be here, who knows?

I just know that I can’t wait any longer.

What’s something you planned on doing this year, but are hesitant to begin? What’s holding you back, and why?

Mishy 🦋