to be real.

How is it already almost 10 o’clock at night as I’m writing this?

These days filled with nothing seem to be going by quicker than days in which I was extremely busy. But maybe it’s because there’s time to do the things I’ve been wanting to do!

Honestly, what can I write about? Today was a fairly normal day in which I made sure to do the essential things: my quiet/devotional time, eat, work out, shower, dishes, and laundry. The rest of the time, I was gathering more writing information so I can learn even more about this thing that I love.

Part of me is excited, and another part of me is nervous. Excited because it’s good to level up in my craft in some ways! Can’t grow if I’m just doing the same thing. I’m nervous because sometimes I wish writing was just simple. Not because I’m lazy, but because the simplicity of just writing whatever comes to mind, whatever is in the heart, just seems highly genuine and real to me. Sometimes I feel like people can get so lost in creating content, we lose the authenticity of things.

I’d be lying if I said there weren’t days when I wish I could be just as carefree in my writing back a few years back when I used to do this every day. Part of me feels like there’s a lack of inspiration since I”m confined to such a small space to really experience anything, but I guess that’s no excuse for that when the lack of space can still give me time to experience things online.

But truly, I think it’s because I fear the audience I potentially have right now. I don’t know how many people are actually reading my blog these days (don’t feel guilty if you’re not…well, I guess if you’re not, then you wouldn’t be reading this. 😅 Anyways!), but I do know who could possibly lay their eyes on my words. And in a way, that makes me nervous. Because I want to make content that’s relatable and interesting, but I also want to be as genuine as possible.

Back when I wrote on my blog every day, I really didn’t know who my audience was, so it made it easier for me to write without feeling maybe judged by what I wrote about. But I know I should have the same mindset back then as I do now, no matter if I do know who my audience is or not! Who knows if me being real allows someone else to feel understood? Who knows if my words could open someone’s perspective to a different point of view?

I guess I’ll never really know until I stop being scared to just be real on here. Not saying that everything I’ve written so far during this quarantine time hasn’t been real, but there have been times I’ve filtered maybe an opinion I had, or didn’t write about something on my mind/heart because I felt like no one else would understand.

But who’s website is this again? Yep, it’s mine. So it’s time I stop walking on eggshells here, and just be who I am!

What are some things that hinder you from being authentic and genuine? How can you push past these things to unleash who you really are/what you really love?

Mishy 🦋🤍

timing and choices.

Happy Monday, luvvies.

For those who live in my city of Chattanooga, TN, overnight we went through tornadoes going through parts of our city, taking away homes, vehicles, but most importantly the people we love and cherish. If things were far from “normal” with all the coronavirus/quarantine stuff going on, normalcy just became non-existent to many who now can’t even follow the stay at home order because their home is unavailable to them.

Someone close to me was affected, although not as drastically as some, but it doesn’t take away the fact that the vulnerability and fragility of the human life becomes way more evident. I’ve seen so many social media posts and conversations about how God is really trying to get our attention with the timing of everything going on, and I couldn’t agree more, if I’m honest.

With everyone busy with other things: work, school, personal agendas, relationships, etc., it’s too easy for those of us who believe in God and Jesus to put Him on the back burner. And I place myself in this category as well; when I was going through my normal routine pre-corona, I did my daily devotions, but it was hard for my mind to truly sit and focus sometimes when I had so many other things on my mind.

Now, with so many of those things taken away, it makes it easier for me to really sit and focus on what God’s Word is trying to say to me when I read it. It makes me more prayerful because I’m not thinking about the routine things, but I’m thinking about people and their situations during this time more. I feel more selfless now than I did before.

Now, with the timing of the tornado hitting now, it’s sort of a win/lose. On one hand, it’s nice that some of those who’ve lost their homes or cars do not need to worry about trying to get to work while they’re trying to figure out what to do, since the virus has shut down almost every business there is, minus groceries/food places. On the other hand, these things are still losses. And I can’t imagine the depth of sorrow that is hovering over those who’ve unexpectedly lost someone they love due to this natural disaster. First, they fear coronavirus possibly doing this, and then an unexpected event such as this takes a person they love away instead. I am truly praying for everyone affected by this tragedy.

Yet while we can sit here and debate on whether it was “good timing” or not, I know that everything that has happened so far has been in God’s timing. And while we can sit here and speculate what God is trying to tell us in these times, I pray we simply trust Him and ask Him what He’s trying to show us personally with everything going on.

Because the thing about the time we have is this: we have choices. We can choose to spend more time in God’s Word, or ignore it. We can choose to be more prayerful or not. We can choose to trust Him, or to run to something else to numb the pain and the questions of the these times. We had these choices when things were “normal” too, but we just felt like everything else was more important, or we felt rushed with our schedules to do anything about it.

Now, with all of us being more mindful with the time we have, the choices we make are even more deliberate. So, let us deliberately take the time to understand what our priorities are, what we’ll spend our time doing. And let us sincerely and deliberately take the time to pray for those who are dealing with both the tornado aftermath and the coronavirus, and lend a helping hand if we can.

Mishy 🦋🤍

stay working.

I had this thought a couple of days ago that, wasn’t a new thought at all, just something that I’d like to share/remind you all:

Stay working because you never know who’s watching.

Kind of the equivalent to “Stay ready so you don’t have to get ready when the time comes.”

This thought came to my mind because recently, I got some Instagram notifications that someone had slightly spammed my account with likes, and eventually, commented on one of my posts how they liked my page and they proceeded to follow me afterwards. When I went to this particular person’s page, I saw that she too, was a poet and an author of her own poetry book. Reading some of her work from her IG page, I began to truly love her writing, and decided to follow her back.

She wasn’t a major author or publisher, but she was another black female poet who was able to connect with me after seeing the things I’d posted on my page. Because I’d prepared myself and continued to work, I was able to connect with her on a level she felt she could follow. And after reading her words, I felt like I could connect with her as well.

This may seem like a small step to some, but to me, because one of my main goals is to connect with people, this was a success.

And who knows…maybe further down the line, some well-known, modern poets or book publishers will take a look at one of my social media pages, and connect with me. And if that should happen, I have to make sure that I’m working hard now, and not just waiting for “the right moment” or for the time when I get noticed, because it may be too late.

Honestly, even though I (and most everyone) have been preaching on the balance of using this time, I have definitely had moments where I’d rather not do anything; like because the regularly schedule program has come to a halt, I too, I feel the desire to just halt all the ideas and projects I’ve been working on as well. With balance, I want to keep in mind that time doesn’t stop, and now people are looking for other things to tap into, to watch, to read, to invest in.

So, today I just encourage you: you gotta keep going! You gotta get ready now, so you’re fully prepared when the time comes. And even if you’re still in the midst of working, it doesn’t mean that when your time comes that it’ll pass you by! Remain faithful to God first, follow suit with the task and call He’s given to you, and He will open doors and allow opportunities to unfold before you in perfect timing.

What are you currently working on right now? How have you been feeling about working, and continuing to work in the coming days? Are you motivated, or need that push to get you productive again? What do you think that push could be?

Mishy 🦋🤍

good friday.

Many around the world are acknowledging today as a couple of different things. One is National Siblings Day, which is important. I have two sisters whom I love very much, and am seriously proud of the growth that they’ve made in each of their lives. 💜💛 I know that God has planned some major things for them, and I cannot wait to see them completely bloom into their passions!

Today is also (most importantly) Good Friday. The day in which Jesus took on the sins of the world, past, present, and future, by dying on the Cross. I’ve seen posts already on social media discussing the irony of today’s name being “good” Friday, when back then, those who followed Jesus probably saw anything but good in what was happening to Him. We call it “good” now because we know the end result: we know that 3 days later, we will celebrate Easter, the day He rose from the dead.

And I can’t help but stop and think how many times in my Christian walk have I thought, Man, God is good. Obviously, I’ve said and thought this during easy times, or when blessings come. But do I also think this when the trials come? When I can’t seem to see any good outcomes coming from what I’m going through? Can (and do) I still say that He’s good? Can/do I still believe that to be true?

Honestly, in my Christian walk, it’s hard to feel and understand that Jesus is right here where I am, whether I’m in a good or bad situation. It’s sometimes hard to grasp the beauty of the day He gave His life when it was so long ago. But to see how much it has transformed my life, and the lives of people I love, and have witnessed live for Jesus, understanding and feeling it doesn’t seem all that difficult anymore. Jesus is there to guide me, so long as I ask, and obey Him.

Easter is filled with what most holidays are filled with – traditions. In both the church and secularly. Some do Easter baskets, egg hunts, wearing their special Easter dresses and suits, having brunch or cookouts. In some church denominations, they’ve been celebrating or acknowledging the Easter season through different days, colors, hymnals, etc. And while traditions can be fun, or can help us remember the importance of Good Friday, may we not drown the Truth in such things so much so that we don’t remember this simple and wonderful fact:

Jesus took our place on the cross. We, as sinful humans, were meant to pay the price for what we have done/would do. And because of His Great Love for us, He died in our place. And now, we can have a relationship with Him because He opened that door with His death and resurrection.

I don’t want to write this post and fling it out onto the Internet like it’s nothing; this day is SO important. Because the gift that came from Jesus’ death that occurred so many years ago today is available to EVERY SINGLE PERSON, so long as they believe in Him, His Sacrifice, and His Resurrection. So long as they let go of any plans they have for their own lives, and are willing to pick up their own crosses and follow Him wherever He leads. So long as they dedicate their lives to living like He did as best as we can in our sinful flesh.

Some of you may know these things, and others may not. For those who are familiar, please take time today to sit and ponder the basis of which are faith is in. And to those who are not familiar, and may even have questions, please don’t hesitate to ask in the comments, or by using my Contact form on my blog here. I’m not saying that I have the answers to every single thing the Bible teaches, but I do have the faith to know that God can speak to you wherever you are, and can give you salvation eternally. It doesn’t mean your life will be easy, but you can learn to hold onto His Peace during hard times. The things in our culture and our world that you used to care so much about won’t matter anymore once you accept His Gift. So please, if you’re wondering or have questions, do not be afraid; speak up.

How are you observing Good Friday today? What is something you can go to God in prayer and praise for, not just today, but from here on out?

Mishy 🦋 ❤️✝️

“Tula, the Hibiscus Tree” 🌺 (POEM)

Today, I sat down to write, and when I looked outside, I saw
Tula…my hibiscus tree.
The one my man got me for our one year anniversary of dating, yes,
She was so pretty when she first arrived —
Bright pink petals pushing out from thin twigs that
Wrapped themselves around each other into a twist,
That’s what she used to look like. Now?

As I sit and look at her, I can’t help but be sad by her state.
No longer are there any pink petals or green leaves.
Only twigs remain.
We did go through a change of seasons —
Fall and winter came and went, and as cold as it gets during those times, I
Knew Tula wouldn’t be in bloom then
But now that spring has arrived, and I see the other bigger tree beginning to sprout its green leaves, I
See Tula’s bare twigs and wonder if maybe
Her bare being is reflective of the care I’ve taken, not of her, but of myself.

Because all through the fall and winter, I too shed leaves like a hibiscus tree.
My petals were pulled off by me and my
Self-sabotaging tendencies, I
Viewed other plants and how they grew,
And envied the way they looked,
Wishing I could be like them.
When all the while, I should have been tending to my own roots, and
Waiting for the spring to come around,
Praying for the Lord to show me who I am so that I
Didn’t have to fear the way that others looked in comparison to me.

So, in a way, when I look at Tula, I see myself.
And I wish that I’d taken better care of the both of us. I wish I’d spent more time with my Creator, speaking to Him and
Depending on His view of me rather than
Caring too much about the other plants He made.
I look at Tula, and I fear that we won’t bear fruit or flower this season.
I wonder if maybe it’s too late for us.

But I still have some hope —
I took the time to water her today with some nutrients good for her soil,
And I fed her some food to help her grow along with the sunshine and warm weather we’ve got these days.

As for me…I know there is hope.
And I must do the same things:
Water myself, be fed the best spiritual Food there is (the Word),
And let it nourish my soul.
I look forward to see in the days to come just how much Tula and I have grown.

But our growth shouldn’t stop once we bloom.
No, even before we bloom, may we help others grow too.
May we look at other flowers and trees without envy, and admire them
For we do not know the journey they took to become what they are now.
So, let us water those who need it and
Celebrate those who have surpassed us.

For these are signs of sure growth as well.

Mishy 🦋🤍

🌸 spring cleaning. 🌸

Hey friends!

I know I missed a day of blogging last week, but it was due to me listening to my body. I was exhausted on Saturday night; had a major headache and just felt kind of weak. I’m fr so much better the next day, I probably was just going through a caffeine withdrawal since I hadn’t had coffee that day (yes, my caffeine intake must be that hardcore 🥴😅).

But I’m glad I took the rest that day instead of trying to power through it. This is what this time is for anyway, right? For us to listen to our bodies, and actually follow through since we’ve got time to?

Today, I did some spring cleaning – cleaned the bathroom and kitchen, vacuumed my apartment, and did my laundry so I could prepare to switch up my closet from winter clothes to spring/summer clothes 😍🤩 One of my favorite times of the year!

Honestly, I’m having a hard time writing content here that has nothing to do with the coronavirus or continuing to rest or taking advantage of the time or staying healthy and safe. While all of those things are so important during this time, part of me feels like maybe everything that needs to be said, has been said. And I don’t want to be someone who’s just repeating things over and over again.

So, let’s talk about 🌸SPRING CLEANING🌸 What are some things that phrase makes you think of? How does it make you feel?

For me, it signifies a change in season, and new beginnings. In some ways, I or you may be completely wiping a slate clean and starting all over, or maybe we’re reviving something that’s passed on or outdated to make it into something new.

I feel like in some ways, I’m reviving my writing some. I don’t want to have the same pattern of writing, or write about the same things over and over again to the point that it becomes monotonous.

Another thing I’m reviving is my prayer life. While I have prayed here and there about some things, I still feel somewhat disconnected, like I’m not focused when I’m talking to God because I’ve got so much on my mind, like how I’ll utilize my time.

So, as I’m spring cleaning, these are things I’m thinking about!

What are some things you need to revive/rejuvenate? Or what’s something you need to start from the ground up?

Mishy 🦋🤍

gripping the ground.

Today was such a good day!

I mean, a lot of these days have been good days, but today in particular, I just felt like I had more of a routine than I normally have. I got up fairly early. I attended an online writing workshop, and wrote the first poem for National Poetry Month. I worked out, took a shower, and washed my bed sheets. I took a listen to Kiana Lede’s album, KIKI, and fell in LOVE with it! I worked on a new little collaboration (coming to you soon!), and drank two Nalgenes full of water (FINALLY!). And now I’m writing this blog post a couple of hours before midnight. YAY!

When I think about it, I feel like I’ve been sort of neglecting myself during this quarantine. I’ve been doing some things, but I haven’t been really been taking care of myself like I used to when I had a routine. I’d been writing (or blogging) every day, but that was the extent to my writing process; I wasn’t learning anything new, or trying to branch out really. I’d been drinking water, but not nearly enough (and it’s resulted in my skin breaking out, and me feeling a little fatigued and dehydrated at the end of the day/during the night). I’d had such a good workout schedule along with drinking protein shakes, and now my body isn’t used to either from doing both of them off and on in the past few weeks.

But it’s never too late to start gripping the ground again. And I felt this so much today, and even though it was just one day, and it takes several days to create a habit, at least I made the choice to begin!

So, not only did I do a writing workshop today, I signed up for more writing classes to help expand my writing process. I started writing the second out of the three poems I need to write to be on track for Poetry Month. Instead of stopping at 2 Nalgenes full of water, I started drinking a third. I started choosing things for myself instead of just letting the day go by, and I haven’t made any moves to better myself in some way.

Once I’m done writing this, I’ll finish writing my poems, read my Bible and devotional, and probably just chill out for the rest of the day. All-in-all, I’m proud of how I spent my day. And now, I’m excited to be able to continue the routine tomorrow.

take the steps.

There’s been so much encouragement I’ve given to y’all in the past couple of weeks regarding the state in which our lives are all changing. I’ve encouraged you to be okay with rest, to use the time you’ve got to work on a passion/craft/hobby you’ve always wanted to, to trust that God is in control of this whole situation. Now, I encourage you in these times to do at least one thing that makes you proud of you every single day. It can be anything! You don’t even have to make a lot of headway on something, or completely finish something. As long as you took the steps to do it, and you feel good that you’ve done it! You’ve got this! Let’s make ourselves proud!

What kind of routine have you been able to create during this time? What was something you did today that made you proud of yourself? How can you continue to invest in yourself as so many states are declaring a two-week stay at home policy starting tomorrow?

Mishy 🦋🤍

to be honest: how I sometimes feel.

Today, I went live with my friend Jeigh for her organization Suspire, and we discussed how I’ve been personally feeling with everything going on.

Honestly, I’m probably in one of the most privileged positions of anyone enduring this pandemic: I’m off of work, but I’m still getting paid. Which means, I have so much time to create! So, there’s really not much room for me to complain, and I’m grateful to be in the position I’m in!

I was telling Jeigh during the live that while I’m not necessarily enduring panic from all this, and I’m more in disbelief that these things are happening, even though I’m living through it day by day. Again, I’m grateful to not be experiencing more negative emotions due to this pandemic.

However, when I think about it, I still have to fight for my mental health. I may not be anxious in regards to the pandemic, but I’m seeing that being stuck in one place for so long leaves a lot of time to just think about other things…and sometimes those things can be negative. I have noticed that sometimes it’s easier for me to see the hope and light in other people’s situations, and not see it in my own. I’m able to write to inspirational content for others, but when I go back and read it, sometimes I feel like those words just aren’t for me.

I’ve had to battle mental demons that desire for me to self-sabotage, threatening my stable situations into chaos and confusion. Yes, there is more time to create…but there’s also more time to compare myself. There’s more time to allow those thoughts to settle in, and cause me to question myself – what I look like, the things I do, etc.

In a way, I feel like I somehow fudged my answers in the Instagram live earlier, but truly, these times of feeling down are brief and temporary. But they are still there, and I don’t want to pretend like they never happened, because they have. I find that I’m fearful of admitting my weak moments of believing these lies; I’m afraid that if I say them out loud, I’d be judged rather than encouraged or helped.

But I also know that, even if it may be initially painful to bring them to light, there is always healing and reassurance on the other side from the Lord, from people who truly love and support me. And I also know that I’m not the only one who goes through these thought processes, so that’s always comforting.

And it’s comforting to know that I can read and look at the art and words of other artists when I feel my words aren’t of much comfort to myself. And honestly, that’s an interesting topic for another blog post. Hmm…

Just some honesty today! But it’s good to get it off my chest. Here are some of the words that have encouraged me lately:

Mishy 🦋💚

“for these times.” (POEM)

Breathe.
Breathe deep…
Each day you awake is another day to live ,
Even if the things you do seem a little repetitive, you must know that
There is still purpose in all of this.
In staying put, and laying low in one space.
In giving silence room to speak to you while it has its chance,
Since you’re left with limited things to do with
So much time on your hands.
Do not give way to the voices that try to bring you down during this time.
Fight through the noise; rest in the quiet.
And if you really need to, don’t be afraid to step outside.
People will discourage the act; say you’re part of the reason this season is still here,
But if you truly believe this situation is out of your control and that
You’re covered by the One Who holds all things together,
Then breathe; breathe deep,
And take that first step out to freedom.
Be bold in faith, but wise;
Open your eyes to the possibilities this pause in life holds for you.
Trust that this time was made to make you, not break you.
And know that like now, all seasons have their time,
Then they pass and bring others along.
So breathe….breathe deep.
And live this day the way you’d try to live it if things were “normal,”:
Like it was your last.

I know a lot of people are doing a lot of finger-pointing right now; those who choose to stay inside all day every day to flatten the curve are angry and frustrated with those who have decided to go outside at some point. When I say to be wise when going outside, I mean to only go outside for necessity – grocery store shopping, if you have to go to work, stepping outside in your own backyard (or whatever outside area you have if you’re in an apartment) for a little fresh air and keeping your distance. Because let’s be honest…we’re all probably going a little stir crazy being inside. And breathing in the same stale, dead skin-filled air in your apartment or home maybe isn’t the best for some.

Again, just be wise, and be mindful of other people and their situations without immediately going into anger or hate. Everyone wants this to be over, and there’s a lot of different voices and opinions going into what’s happening. Stay safe, clean, and healthy; wash your hands, keep them away from your face, drink plenty of water, and most importantly KEEP PRAYING IN FAITH for yourself, your family, your friends, the community, the world.

Much love,
Mishy
🦋💚

a time for reflection.

What day is it? Saturday?

I guess, technically, it’s almost Sunday now. I know I should probably write these posts before two hours before midnight, but I just like living through a day, seeing what it holds, before I sit down to try to write here.

There have been a lot of things happening in light of the whole coronavirus thing. Things that are teaching me who I am, what I truly love, what I need to be the best me I can be. It’s easy to think that we know who we are as we go through life a day at a time. But sometimes, time goes by so quickly, and we’re so busy with everything that we don’t get to pause and reflect on if our needs and desires have even changed in our lives.

I honestly needed this time to remind me of who I really am. I feel like I’ve been settling for the “fast-food” version of myself instead of really delving deep. I had those deep moments every now and then during my on-the-go time before all of this social distancing, but being stuck in a place for a while, not really able to do much or go anywhere, it makes you reflect on the person you used to be, and who you are now.

signs of the times.

Time has been on my mind so much recently. I’ve been thinking about memories I had, some with friends, some with my boyfriend of almost two years, some with my family. I looked at my Facebook memories today, and a few pictures and posts popped up: one of them was promotion pictures from two years ago for my first poetry performance. The year before that, it was a picture of me inside the bathroom at my current job, only then it was my first spring working there.

I look at those posts, and I think back to those times, and who I was during them. I remember where I was in my poetry journey, and even in my motivational speaking. I remember the people I mostly interacted with, whether they were online or in person. I remember when things began to change for me, when I made decisions to make changes that would push me forward instead of holding me back.

And then I see my life now – the things I have, the people who are actively in my day-to-day, or even month-to-month because honestly, when things were normal I wouldn’t see some of my closest friends for a good few weeks or months. I’m grateful for where I am, but I know that I have to do things to change where I am into something greater. Don’t get me wrong, I’m extremely grateful for my life right now; I just know that I am not meant to stay stagnant here for very long.

So, as I’m social distancing to the best of my ability, I am reflecting on who I am, what I need, and what I desire. I’m acknowledging the things, people, and opportunities I do have right now, and am grateful for them. And I also acknowledge that I still have work to do in order for some of the visions in my mind to come to fruition. Work, but most importantly, prayer; seeking the Lord, and asking Him the best way to go about all of this. Honestly, the prayer part is where I am weakest right now. Even though I have all this time on my hands, it doesn’t mean I can’t get distracted by things. So my prayer life in itself is something I need to work on too!

And I hope that we all take some time during this pause of the world to do these things, and to put into practice a routine to better understand ourselves now, so whenever we’re placed back into “normal” times, we aren’t settling for the “fast food” versions of ourselves, but we know our past and present selves, and we strive to be better in the future.

How can you evaluate yourself in past, present, and future? What are some things you notice now that you feel like you wouldn’t have noticed in your busier times? How can you use this time to move forward in things you’ve dreamt of?

Mishy 🦋💚