I had to write something on this since this is current (as of yesterday), and I just saw someone post about it again today on their Instagram story.
I honestly was hesitant to write about this because I didn’t want people jumping down my throat about me “taking the sharing of this event too seriously,” or “going to deep into this” because ”we don’t seriously want our significant others/future baes to do this specifically.”
Just hear me out. Or read me out, if you will…
We have all probably seen the video of the amazing, beautifully thoughtful proposal of a couple in which the man created a unique version of Sleeping Beauty (his girlfriend’s favorite movie) in which they are the characters, and he is proposing to her. If you haven’t seen it, it’s not hard to find at all – you can probably Google any of those words I typed in the sentence above describing the scene, and you’ll find it.
While the scene is EXTREMLY touching, and I absolutely love the creativity the man used, I wanted to express something I thought about as I watched so many females shared the video on their stories or profiles, with exclamations such as:
“This is the type of energy I want!”
“Waiting for a man like this!”
“Someone please tell me where guys like this are…”
You get the point…
Do Not Make This the Standard
Please keep reading and hear me out, because I bet some of the people who read that are probably taken aback. They’ve probably stopped reading because I’ve lost my mind…who WOULDN’T want to keep their standards this high? I mean, we should all want to have a partner who puts in work to understand us, and to make us feel special, ESPECIALLY with something as awesome as an engagement.
What I mean is, too often when something like this goes viral on the Internet, we’re tempted to only say “yes,” to people who will fit that particular standard…”If he/she’s not doing this, then ‘it’s a ‘no’ from me, dawg’.” We desire the fancy, flashy things in the relationship, and can become too focused on that. We subconsciouly make this particular event the standard for all engagements.
Now, WHAT I’M NOT SAYING are the following:
- That the couple or those who were with them celebrating this lovely moment in their lives were wrong in posting the video.
- That the people who shared the engagement video, or who do want to be treated special in their relationship are wrong. Yes, in a relationship, each person is responsible for getting to know that person: what they love, what they hate, what makes them feel loved (be it words, actions, etc.). But that doesn’t mean we should hold EVERY GUY and EVERY GIRL to specific, showy things, or else the relationship isn’t good enough.
Of course, every relationship and the people within it are different. There may be some who saw the engagement video, and didn’t like how it was done because they’d prefer a smaller, more private engagement than to have every single person they know be there.
There may be guys in relationships right now who watched the video, and now feel like they’re incapable of making their girlfriend feel special because they’re not that creative, or they can’t afford to do bigger things like that for their girlfriends right now.
Some girls may be re-thinking their whole relationship because their boyfriend hasn’t made a Disney version of them, or hasn’t decorated their whole room/apartment with roses and roses petals , or hasn’t dressed in a couples outfit with them yet.
Guys: It’s okay…
It’s okay if you can’t do all the fancy things for your girlfriend right now, or if you show your love in a different way than that. It’s okay if your engagement isn’t some extravagant thing that goes viral. You know your partner and what they need to feel loved. Don’t let the social media version of love make you doubt that you know how to love properly.
Girls: It’s okay…
It’s okay to look at engagements such as this one, and dream of having an engagement as special as it. It’s okay to desire to be treated properly and loved correctly. But it’s also okay if your partner shows love in ways that aren’t as big or “social media worthy.” I believe the love energy we truly desire is to be seen, to be heard, and to be understood, whatever that specifically looks like for you.
***I’m not giving the guys an excuse to not put forth any effort, and I’m not telling girls to lower their standards. I’m saying, the pressure to have social media love can sometimes be so great that we forget what real love truly is. Simple. Sacrificial. Intentional. Thoughtful. Unselfish. Unhindered.
My whole point is this: please do not allow social media to cause you to be discontent, no matter what your relationship status is. Remember that, although some people are trying to become more real on their social profiles, most of the time, they are just highlight reels.
Remember what TRUE love is.
What do you think? My opinion is obviously not the end-all, be-all for things, so I’m curious to know what your thoughts are on love and social media? Please comment below! Would love to chat with you, and read your voice!