speaking in silence.

Today, I lost my voice.

It’s that time of year when all the sicknesses are going around. I’d just gotten over a cold, and I guess maybe I really hadn’t gotten over it since this week I’ve been coughing, and now my voice has decided to leave me probably due to all the coughing, talking, singing, and yelling I’ve done throughout my week at work, home, with friends, etc.

Honestly, not being able to speak or sing is kind of frustrating for me. Especially since something I do and am passionate about is spoken word. I want to be able to practice, to hear myself say the things I’ve written. And I love to sing as I’m doing things throughout the house, and especially when I’m at work singing to the one-and-a-half to two-year-olds in my class.

It was interesting to go through today without my voice. If truly necessary, I would whisper, but for the most part I tried to give my vocal cords a rest and remain silent. Thankfully, both of my co-teachers were able to talk to the kids when I couldn’t, and sing when I couldn’t. I thought today would be more frustrating than it actually proved to be.

listen here…

Instead of being a voice in my world today, I’ve done a lot of listening.

Instead of…

…singing along to songs I played on my way to work
…talking to, yelling at, singing to the kids in my class
…having a lot to talk about with my co-workers

I was able to…

…listen to and really connect with the lyrics to the songs I was listening to.
…listen to my kids, and observe things I probably normally wouldn’t have.
…listen to what my co-workers had to say, whether it be about work, life, etc.

Having a voice is a powerful thing, but there was a lot of power in listening as well. I was shocked, honestly, to see some of my kids still understand me as I pointed to toys they should pick up and put in a box, and they did exactly that, without me verbally asking them to. It was as if they understood my motions and actions more than they understood the words. You’re probably thinking, “Well, yeah, Mishy, they’re only two-years-old,” but we’re encouraged to really talk with the kids so they can begin to verbalize their needs and wants to us, and ultimately talk in small, somewhat sentences.

still communicating

I also thought about how my facial expressions could express the same emotion just as well, and maybe even more so without me having to verbalize an expression like, “Oh no!” or “Yay!”And this thought led me to how awesome it is that God created different ways to express ourselves even when one part of expression is limited.

And I am thankful that, despite not having an audible voice, I’m still capable of using words or facial expression to communicate. That even though I’ve lost my voice today, I truly haven’t lost my voice altogether.

I can still speak through the silence.

This is also a lesson in thankfulness. I’m never truly grateful for something I have all the time until it’s gone. I normally have my voice, so I don’t ever think about losing it until it’s gone. So, even though I am thanking God for ways to communicate through the silence, I will learn to be more grateful for my voice – to be able to talk to my loved ones, to be able to sing my favorite songs, to be able to speak the spoken word things I’ve written.

Just finished drinking boiled OJ + honey for the second time today. Don’t knock it until you try it – a friend of mine from college suggested it to me when I lost my voice one time in school, and it truly did help me gain my voice back. Only, I’m almost out of OJ. So, to drinking green tea it is!

#MishyWrites 🦋✨

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