tired but grateful.

You may have already heard their names…Sean Reed and Ahmaud Arbery. More names to add to the murdered black males list. And while anything I write may not be different than anything else you’ve read or seen today, I feel the need to write about it on my blog because honestly, I’m so tired of being angry at things like this, sad at things like this, tired of all of this.

I’m tired of incidents like this having to be spammed all over social media before the news or the authorities talk about it, and before murderers are arrested. I’m tired of having more names become hashtags to get people’s attention. I’m tired of parents, siblings, significant others, children, and friends having to put the face and name of someone they love on a t-shirt, in a casket, and on a gravestone.

I’m tired of having fearful thoughts in my head sometimes when my boyfriend walks or drives to the corner store or gas station near my apartment, because I never know what could happen between here and there. I’m tired of being fearful for any of my fellow black friends, male or female, when they’re leaving from a party or event by themselves (and that’s even after walking with them to their car, and telling them to text me when they’ve made it home safe).

And I know I’m not the only one who’s tired of these things.

It’s during times like these that I’m grateful that my hope is not in this world, or in the people who are in this world. It doesn’t mean we shouldn’t speak up, or try to hold people accountable for their actions, but I trust that God will deal with it accordingly, either now or when Christ returns. And the latter may not satisfy some who want to see justice now, but the unfortunate reality is that sometimes we may not see it all the way through in our lifetime.

I would love to see the slaughter of black people actually taken seriously before my lifetime is over. Shoot, I’d love for the slaughter of black people to NOT HAPPEN before my lifetime is over! I pray this to be so, and trust that God’s timing is better than mine. And I continue to put my hope in Him, and not the systems or those running them, since clearly, they have failed time and time again.

I pray that we all keep fighting for justice though; that our righteous anger wouldn’t burn out, that we would never hesitate to speak up or act in whatever way we can when murder occurs. That we keep fighting for actual equality to happen every single day. And that we love on the ones we have in our lives right now, near or far.

Mishy 🦋🤎

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s