Okay, I knoooowww what you’re thinking…I’ve already failed at blogging every day because I didn’t do it Saturday. Or Sunday. Or yesterday.
But I AM HERE TODAY!
This past weekend brought about unexpected events, and then yesterday was honestly just emotionally hard on me. I am doing better today; honestly trying not to beat myself up for not writing for the past few days.
I guess as I sit here on my bed, going over the past several days, I can just think of this phrase: “Everything is gonna be alright.”
There’s a lot going on in the world, in our country/state/city. In our personal lives. And I honestly am so guilty of allowing anxious thoughts to overrule the joy and peace of God that I know resides within me; that I know will never leave me.
Those who have followed my previous blog posts know that I have written about being a worrisome person since I was a child. And although I feel like I’ve outgrown a lot of my worrisome ways, there are definitely still times in which anxiety takes a hold of me.
Of course, there are some songs that remind me to breathe; remind me that these anxious feelings are only temporary (currently I’ve got “Be Alright,” Kehlani and Ariana Grande’s versions on repeat). And there are other songs that remind me of God’s Peace (“Peace Come Over You” by The Rocket Summer / “Sons and Daughters” by North Point InsideOut, just to name a couple!).
Tonight, I was reminded of Psalm 23, a psalm I memorized for school as a child, but didn’t fully understand until I reached adulthood. I highly suggest that you read it if you are currently going through some worries, overthinking some situations, or feeling anxious about some things or some people. It is a psalm that reminds Christians Who God is to us – a Shepherd who leads and guides us through green pastures (peaceful times) and valleys of death (hard times). Who takes care of His sheep by protecting them and providing for them. Who promises to overflow our cup, and allow Goodness and Mercy to follow us for the rest of our lives.
It’s crazy (but not coincidental) that these thoughts and Psalm 23 have come to mind because exactly a year ago yesterday, my church went through a series that went through a verse or two in Psalm 23 each Sunday, and after each sermon, I started writing little poem/spoken word pieces to the verses and the sermon notes I took. I honestly never wrote pieces for the entire chapter, but maybe it’s time for me to pick back up on it.
And of course, I’ll share with you all what I have so far / what I will write for the rest! 🙂
“The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.” (Psalm 23:1)
But I do want, God. I want and I want and I want, and none of it is You. All of it is people and places and things,
Scenarios I envision that could possibly bring me the happiness I’ve been yearning for.
A new adventure.
Someone to love, and who will love me.
A better place to be in, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.
All these things leave me empty, and I wonder why I’m so drained when I don’t get any of them. I wonder why I’m still searching if these things do occur, if they are given to me,
Why am I still lacking?
By Your Grace and Mercy it doesn’t take long to realize that
You are What, Who, Where I wanted
All this time. I wandered from Your fold, God. Foolishly I went astray, yet You came looking for me and when you found me said,
“I am here. Remember? You are mine.”
And to hear those words so clearly, and believe that they are true
Causes me to fall to my knees and say
“I shall not want, Lord.
I shall not want anything, but You.”
~ written on November 5, 2017
I gotta keep going.