Last week was FULL of affirmations for me!
Honestly, after spending more time modeling last year and less time writing poetry, I felt like maybe my passions were misaligned; that maybe I was focusing on all the wrong things, and that I was wasting my time on a hobby rather than on something God could be calling me to. I even felt so hesitant posting the latest pictures of me on my Instagram because it isn’t “poetry” content, or any of the other content I continue to say that I create.
But I also put on my page that I’m a model. And I AM. I honestly always have been. I’ve loved taking pictures since I can remember, of other things, and of myself. I now get PAID to model for certain brands thanks to Deidre Schlabs and her brand Fluff Media. Over and over, God confirms this part of my calling, not just with the same opportunities, but also with BIGGER AND BETTER ones!
I’ll go ahead and share this here since this has been officially posted on their website. I’ll post it elsewhere eventually, but:
This opportunity here is something I never thought would come my way. If you’d asked me last year when I agreed to hand model that I would have a chance to model for M&M’s, I wouldn’t have thought so. But by the grace of God, this was possible. And I’m so grateful.
I’m also grateful to have connected with one of my favorite poets Arielle Estoria, and I’m honored to get to watch her also go through this within her own narrative. The duality to be both human and still spiritual; it’s a beautiful thing that we waver about expressing in our crafts, yet the Savior we claim to believe in was both God and man, and only did this to save us.
So, why do we hesitate? Personally, I just don’t want my flesh to overtake the true calling on my life, where all I care about is what the world thinks of me. Because I am on assignment, and I don’t want to forget that. But I also don’t want to deny the human part of me because that is what is relatable to others. It was just nice last week to grapple with this concept alongside my favorite poet, and she, of course, shared some encouraging words throughout the week that reminded me to accept the different dimensions of who I am.
I know I haven’t been here for WEEKS. My apologies, luvvies. I’ve had my mind and focus elsewhere, and I’ve been enjoying really staying offline in some ways so I can focus elsewhere. But I’ll be here more often! Thank you for reading!