i want to start my blogging consistency back with what’s most important to me: my faith.

this year, I thought I wanted to read the whole Bible in a year using one of those devotionals on the Bible app that helps you move along. But I found myself just reading, and not really studying what I was reading. I was checking off the boxes, and yes, I was skipping days, but I told myself that that was okay, I could just read it whenever I could. And if I couldn’t finish it in a year, then that was okay.

my heart wasn’t in it though, and I knew it. Instead, I found myself ending my Bible app progress, and praying about where God would want me to read in the Bible. I decided on Ephesians since that’s the book of the Bible that my husband and I were supposed to read when we became members of our church (yes, you read that right…”supposed to read.” We may have forgotten to read a chapter for each week of meetings 😬 I won’t try to pretend like we did things perfectly. But we still became church members, okay?!)

reading Ephesians 2, I felt the Holy Spirit pulling me toward verse 22 (I’m still trying to memorize it): “In him, you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit.”

i felt such conviction in this verse because at the beginning of this year, I felt like I was floundering. I may be married for almost 9 months, but I still felt out of balance, like my priorities were all out of whack. I was getting some important things done, but still feeling vacant. I was going to church, reading my devotions and Bible, but honestly, my heart wasn’t in the right place. My life felt like it was on sinking sand. Even though my body is a temple for the Holy Spirit, it felt vacant, hollow, empty.

reading this verse reminded me though: I will never fully arrive in this life. My pastor said this during a sermon as well, and it really hit home for me. Every day, I am learning how to become a better person, a better Christian, a better wife, a better coworker, a better friend. I am still being built together for God by the Holy Spirit. And I will keep on being built together until my life on this earth ends.

of course, this doesn’t mean I throw in the towel, knowing I won’t ever fully succeed at balancing in this life. But I strive for the fortitude in my spiritual walk, in my physical life, in my mental health with God’s help.

at my grandma’s funeral, my grandpa emphasized this line my grandma would say to her second grade students at the beginning of each year: “With God’s help, I will not yell at you.” She prayed for the fortitude, the solid foundation and strength to be able to connect with her students, to have them trust her as their teacher. And she knew she wouldn’t be able to do that without God’s help.

so this year, I am praying that with God’s help, I will continue to seek His Face in everything. I will trust His Plan, even if I am worried or afraid. I will prioritize the right things, shoving aside what my flesh might crave in order to continue being built as a dwelling place for God by the Spirit.

Mishy 🦋🩵✨