"Today I Affirm…"
"I have the courage to restart and the patience to work for it while I wait for it." – Alex Elle
Words: "Courage," "Restart," "Patience"
The nighttime mantra that goes along with this is: "I am courageous even in times of doubt. I am patient even when time doesn't seem to be on my side. I am capable of restarting because it's never too late to make changes." – Alex Elle
The mantra that goes along with this is hard for me to affirm, if I'm being honest. Because it's been hard for me to be courageous when I'm in the middle of some serious doubts. I thank God that lately, He's allowed me to push some heavy doubt aside, and it's caused me to cling to Him even more than I would have before. My initial reaction to doubt is worry and fear, so I have noticed that my bravery has increased as my journey has continued.
As for patience when time isn't on my side? Mmm, I'm still really working on that. I definitely still get upset with myself when I realize how much time I've wasted on certain things instead of getting what I need to get done accomplished. I'm trying to learn that I need to make most of the time I have, and if I am unable to do everything I need to do, it's okay; it isn't going to kill me, or cause my plan to completely de-rail.
And being capable of restarting things? I find it hard to do this because of my perfectionism – once I start something, or think about something, I want it to be done perfectly the first time, or I want the plan that I create to be perfect so that no mistakes are made in the process of getting somewhere. Because I've been going through this process of updating my site, my blog, and the #JustStartWriting site, I've been learning a lot, and well, failing a lot. And I've definitely had to restart on some ideas I originally had, or adjust some parts of my plan. It was sort of painful at first, but once I realized the necessity of being flexible, adapting things I needed to became quite easy. It's almost painless at this point, and I thank the Lord for shaping me more into a flexible person in this area of my life. I definitely am not perfectly flexible; but I see so much growth in myself now than before.
So let me answer the journal questions Elle has for this self-affirmation journal…
Are you scared of starting over? If so, why or why not?
I sort of answered this already, but in some cases, I am scared to start over because I feel like my original plan was perfect to begin with, and I don't want me changing things to ruin the outcome of what I had in mind. But starting over can be so refreshing; I've realized a lot of times if I'm bogged down in all the writing I've done for a post, it's just easier for me to scrap the whole thing and start all over than it is to go back through and try to edit. So maybe in some cases, I'm not too scared to start all over.
How can starting over benefit certain aspects of your life?
A fresh start can change my perspective of something instead of seeing it happen one way. When I start to get frustrated with a project, I tend to start all over instead of trying to fix the small mistakes in the middle because sometimes it's just easier to start making the changes you need to make from the very beginning.
Where can you exercise more patience + courage in your journey?
I need to be willing to be patient through my creative process. I want everything to happen for me all at once; I want to write a book, I want to release this poem, this EP, I want people to start spreading the word more about my poetry. But all of that can't happen without the proper little steps towards that. I can't just take giant leaps, I need to focus on the small things as well, and perfect them so that the bigger things can also be perfected.
But I also need to not be so hesitant when it comes to releasing things or doing things. I tend to not want to write, release, or say things until they are extremely perfect and full-proof, but sometimes I just need to take a leap of faith, and go for it.
Well, the weekend is here, and I don't know about you, but after the week I've had, I think now is a good time to really focus on restarting, on finding the patience to perfect my craft and perfect my way of life, on being brave enough to make the moves I need to make in order to make my dreams a reality.
Happy Friday, you guys! I hope your weekend has started well!