“soul music.” – Day 8 of #12DaysofPoetry

On the 8th day of poetry, Mishy gave to us…

“soul music.”

Crazy how I can now listen to the songs that reminded me so much of you, but hurt too much to play back then.
Crazy that I can feel more positive nostalgia and vibes from the artists I once constantly replayed, and can now play yet again.
Crazy how you’ve been taken out of the equation, out of the music that used to define our relationship, I
No longer avoid this music any longer.
I embrace it with all that it is, not what it used to stand for.

You’re not there anymore. No,
Whatever was left of you in these lyrics, this music,
Has been erased and placed somewhere other than in the forefront of my mind.
I sought comfort with these artists, yet, they were also yours to admire, and I
Couldn’t stand that we both shared something I always went back to,
Something I always desired to keep close to me.

For too long, I had to keep it at a distance.

Some months or years later, and I can listen and reminisce on the good memories and
Fun times. My heart and stomach don’t ache to think that you’re listening to the same thing I’m listening to.
To think that whatever sounds and songs made you feel the same way I felt just seemed
Too good to be true.

So, I sought my soul music elsewhere.

And I discovered a whole new world of tunes, better musicians that could soothe
My aching heart from all the lies you so carefully crafted into two connecting arcs.
Sometimes I can’t keep them in  my car, on my phone, or in my head for all they do is make me think back to those times, when I was questioning with dread why I even had to endure it.

Then I read all the lines above this one, and I realize that maybe it wasn’t the worst.

So, when I listen to those songs, I can only think of how much I’ve grown since I last heard them.

And they mean more to me now than they did at first.

~ written on July 6, 2017 at 10:47pm

#MishyWrites #12DaysofPoetry

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