I got back to my apartment by 2pm or 2:15, and I felt strange.
First of all, I was the only one home. Second, I really had no plans for the rest of the day. Which is crazy because the past few weeks have been filled to the brim (haha, see what I did there?) with plans, hangouts, meetings, etc. Because I’ve been so busy all the time that, whenever I have time to actually stop, breathe, and think about what my next move is, it blows my mind.
And I feel weird because I’m always going and never stopping. I feel like if I’m not hanging out with someone or doing something fun, I’m just wasting my time and my life. I feel like I’m wasting the beautiful day outside; I become restless, eager for a new adventure that will take up at least the next few hours so I can say that I did something, and didn’t just veg out in my bedroom.
I texted my friend Jessica about it, who is in her thirties, and she told me that she remembered feeling the same way in her twenties, but now, she would rather be at home.
Why is that though? Why do people my age crave to always be doing something, yet whenever we are doing something, we complain that we’d rather be at home instead? Why when we’re home and can actually relax do we freak out because we feel like we should be doing something?
Why as young people do we not feel important or valued if we aren’t doing something or hanging out with someone? Why do we feel like we’re useless if our lives aren’t constantly filled with adventure?
With these thoughts, I personally am realizing that I need to learn to embrace those alone moments, those moments of silence. Because who knows when I’ll get them again, right?
I would like to say that a motto of mine is “Always going, never stopping.” I mean, this really isn’t that true…I clearly stop – to sleep, to eat, to go to the bathroom.
But even in my life, I really am not always going, even if I think I am. There are just moments of rest that I refuse to accept because I don’t want to seem boring or lazy.
Is it okay to push things off to create free space and moments in your life? Yes (just not all the time, because work does need to be done at some point).
However, if a free moment find its way into your day, do you take advantage of it? YES.
I challenge you (and myself) to shove aside all those thoughts that make you think your life will suck if you’re not doing anything exciting or anything at all all the time. Quiet all the noise in your head telling you that you need to do something right now.
Appreciate the silence, the lonely time, the feeling that you aren’t doing anything, and take hold of the thought, for at least thirty minutes, that you really don’t need to do anything or see anyone. That you need your rest so you can do what you need to do. You resting for thirty minutes isn’t going to make you any less valuable. It doesn’t mean you admit defeat; it just means “not right now. I’ll get to it though, just give me a second.”
Forget the motto “always going, never stopping.” I’m pushing for “sometimes go, sometimes stop, and never give up.”
💙 Mishy 🦋