“no. 91217”

My hand is outstretched, and my heart hopes you take it.
Sometimes when you do, I feel like I’m standing in a room with a crowd full of people
Completely naked,
And so many things are being thrown at me.
So many questions, comments, complaints, concerns and
I just wanted to share something with you – a lesson
I recently learned in my life.
Our hands held tightly together, I didn’t realize
The commitment
I’d signed up for.
I wasn’t aware that I’d be stripped down to the core of my being,
That piece after piece of me would be taken
With nothing left for myself, it seems.

Yet, this is what I long to do.
I long for you to feel the deep understanding of someone
You have never met. Someone you never knew.
And in this moment, we connect.
But you’ve attempted to trace it back to me
And I’m unsettled…
I don’t want to regret the choice I made
To open myself up.

I only want you to take what I’ve given and
See for yourself how it applies to the
Situations, people, places
In your life.
Don’t look back at me and try to analyze it all.
Please.

I kind of want a piece of me back.
More than one, if that’s okay.
It’s not that I don’t want you to know who I am.
I’d love to get to know you too.
But there’s a line that needs to be drawn, I think,
And whether that’s up to me, or you,
I’m not sure.

Because this is who I am. So do I need to change?
Rearrange the way I give my hand out
So as not to hand out every single part of me?
Maybe space is what I need,
But my goal is to draw you near,
And I fear that if I go too far away
My hand won’t reach you wherever you
Stand, sit, lie, or stay.

But there’s got to be some sort of distance between us.
Yes, there must be.

#MishyWrites 🦋✨

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