Today, I admitted out loud that I wasn’t putting in 100% at my job this year, but one of my New Year’s resolutions was to begin doing so.
If I’m being honest, this school year in particular, I’ve been skating on by doing the bare minimum for my classroom. I think my motivation decreased after my boss dropped the teaching partners down from 3 to 2, then my co-teacher (and also a dear friend of mine) decided to save her peace of mind by quitting within the first month of the school year.
While my new co-teacher has been amazing, I think my growing bitterness towards my job has caused me to just lose motivation to want to go above and beyond for my students and their parents. I’m underpaid, but expected to do the most; so last semester, I just did the minimum requirements.
But after evaluating myself during Christmas break, I realized how I didn’t feel that great doing so. It wasn’t fair to me, to my co-teacher, or to my students (who are only 1.5 to 2 years old, by the way), but still, their parents showed so much appreciation at the end of the first half of the year, part of me felt guilty that maybe I wasn’t doing all I could to really teach these kids about the world.
So, while I admitted my feelings to myself, I admitted them out loud to someone I love and trust so they could keep me accountable. I want this last half of the year to prove, not only that I’m capable of going above and beyond for my students, but I’m capable of doing that for myself, and showing how grateful I am to even have a job while there might be some who are struggling to find one.
We may not all be where we want to be right now, but we still have things to be grateful for, things we can put effort and care towards despite maybe feelings of bitterness or frustration.
What are those things that you’re bitter about? What are the things you’re grateful for? How can you change your mindset and lifestyle to support the positive mindset instead of the negative?