to be honest: job edition.

Do you enjoy your job?

Whew, today’s prompt brings about a heavy answer. Because the answer is no…I don’t enjoy my job.

At least, I don’t enjoy my “9-5” job. I feel like for years, I’ve been just brushing off the negative feelings because “it’s not that bad,” well, finally after working as a preschool teacher for 5 years, almost 6, I’m here to finally admit that I do not enjoy teaching children.

And that may come off harsh, and it may seem like I just despise my job or the class I’m teaching, but truly and honestly, I feel like I’ve outgrown this particular job for so long, yet I stayed because it was comfortable and familiar to me. The routines and habits have been so ingrained, so I knew basically what to expect. Yet, when the negative aspects and things of my job that I expected did occur, it didn’t stop me from giving excuses as to why it was okay for me to stay.

I’m here to say that I desire for this to be my last school year teaching. I’m currently making some moves to do some other things that I won’t reveal just yet, but I long to enjoy my 9-5 along with my creative things that I do. While I may not dread going into work every day, that doesn’t mean I necessarily enjoy being at my job.

Now, there are some sweet aspects of my job – being able to watch children learn and grow. Seeing the light in their eyes when they start to understand an idea about the world. Things like this almost bring me to tears while I’m working. But the environment itself is so unhealthy, and I’m tired of it. It feels like I’m dealing with children all day…and I’m not just talking about the two-year-olds in my class either.

I’ve been praying for God to create a way of escape, to provide a new job, to give me another opportunity, and I’m working towards something now, but I’m still praying to be sure it’s His will. And maybe it has been His will that I stay at this job for this long, but I truly feel within my spirit that it’s time to move on.

I wasn’t expecting such a long-winded answer to such a simple question, but yeah. I’m really done with my job. I’m over dealing with my boss. Tired of not getting the usual benefits that a person of my age SHOULD be getting at a job. Exhausted from the drama. Sick of feeling under appreciated by some parents despite keeping their children safe and healthy during the days I spend with them. I feel like my job has sucked me dry of any grace I could extend. The departure has been long overdue.

Check back in a couple of months to see if I’ve found my freedom, or if I’m having to wait a few more months. It’ll be a surprise for all of us, including me.

Mishy 🦋

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