My boyfriend had to remind me this morning that these 30 days away from social media aren’t just to be off my phone as much, but they’re to re-work any negative narratives that constantly find their way to my mind. And he’s right; it’s easy to just see this social media break as something to check off a to-do list, and not actually work towards certain things in the meantime.

Last night, I admit that I mentally and emotionally struggled with self-sabotaging thoughts, and they left me so distraught that they filled my dreams, and I woke up this morning still heavy from all that had transpired. It felt like an anchor in my chest, weighing me down before the day could even start. I was discouraged, and my mind continued to obsess over how I felt the night before, and if it was all true, and how I was going to handle it if it were, and I felt the anger and sadness just begin to rise up.

But now is the time to move past this cycle. I’ve already moved on from how I felt last night/this morning, but my boyfriend made a good point about utilizing this time to really dig deep into WHY I need this time, and HOW I can truly change in these next several weeks. So, not only is my purpose important during this time, but my plans on what needs to be changed and how are just as important.

So, I’m going to get off this blog, and start writing down ideas on how to stop the self-sabotage from becoming so great that if floods into the next day. I know that simply writing down a plan won’t cure the entire issue, but it is a major step towards healing, and ending the cycle.

To some, this little insight may seem strange or come as a shock since I’m usually such a positive and encouraging person, but I’m human like everyone else. I have my bad days and my REALLY bad days. I need to have my cup filled up just like anyone else, and especially if I’m called to help fill other’s cups up too. So, if you think of me, pray for me, please! And if you have any helpful tips on redirecting self-doubts or self-sabotaging thoughts, please share them in the comments! I’d love to read them!

I challenge you to think about something you need to rework. Maybe it’s your mentality, how to control your emotions in certain situations, how to be the best you can be physically. Don’t rush this process; if it takes more than a day or two, let it!

Mishy 🦋